ignore my hair. tts wat i'm gonna wear to parrty! 

i noe i'm sweet. =D 

tts all da peeps hu wenta celebrate Diana's 15th Bdae! cheerios! 

Piano laydee. =D 

pretty baybehs! Nas & moi. 

NURA ROCKS!

Never deny that fact.

untitled

oh well, da past few daes haf been goin on fine. =) yesterdae Diana [bdae gal], Nas, Shari, Syidah, Sharifah and me, hit da town. Walked around at Far East, Nas searchin for new shoes for Hari Raya. lol. she's got a big feet cos da shoes she liked didnt carry her size. lol.

den me and Diana were like buying fruits & pretending we werent malays. lol. we were speaking in mandarin.. those basic ones lar... lol. it was lame actually. da other three, Shari, Syidah and pah went off to some other shops larr.. lol. den we walked around and Nas & Diana went Wisma while da rest of us went This Fashion to look for clothes.

Shari was boredd to tears! lol. Syidah & Pah kept tryin on clothes tho they had no intention of buyin at first. but later dey each bought one. then i showed Pah da blouse tt i bought.. [i'll send in da pic] & yeahh we spent abt an hour or so there.

den we wenta buy Old Chang Kee food.. Diana and Me had started a lil bit... den we took da Mrt to go to Bugis la.. but durin tt time, it was already breaking fast time.. and i told dem to juz haf a bite so dat their fasting wont be annulled. wadeva u call it. but those idiots carried on to eat... den ppl kept lookin at us lor.. haizz..

den we took lotsa pics at Bugis!!! lol. we had wanted to eat da da rows of Chinese stalls, halal of course, but it was too crowded tt we went to the Raffles Hospital and ate at the Banquet there. lol. it was cool . but dere wasnt anythin dat appealed to me. so i followed into Diana's footstep - i bought fruits and honeydew milkshake. =D

hmmmm wat else? nth much actually. slept REALLY late again. was chattin wif Brett adn Hui Ting and some other more peeps. lol. oh ya... Pris went to Genting without telling me lor.. so sadded. few daes bak i slept at 3.30 am den yesterdae i slept ar 2.30 am... haizz.. i still feel weird bein in tt room.

move OVER, Nora Roberts.

...and here comes da new author, Nura Osman. =D wakrakakakaka... as u cn prolly guess, i've received my published book. itz Mine.

ohh yeahh... i found several errors there as mentioned by Mrs Sng. lol. horrible la.. but yeahh... i'm so happy that i haf accomplished my dream - to write a book. yay!!

i guess itz sort of nice to achieve ur dreams. Mayb i shall now proceed to my next step to gain more self-confidence. I shall start to sing. in public. wakrakakakka.. jokin... cos u see, wenever i sing or scold in public... [da scoldin occurs to shoutin durin camps or watsoeva] my upper lip wud twitch. and it seems and feels funny. lol. so yeahh...

anyways, i wanna go away now... i'll blog again later. see ya! oh yeahh...

SCHOOL'S OUT!

itz slowly sinkin in....

oh well...i'm havin difficulties tryin to put the old Brett into the new one. i'm not sure if i like him this way. He's converted to Islam and yeahh.. itz kinda nice to noe tt he's willin to embrace Islam. Though his reason was just that he's interested in it.

amd dave is on his way to Islamic World. lol. i dunno wat to sae abt tis. i mean tho my opinion means nothing but... it does feel weird to be all saint wen long ago we did outrageous things together. now its like... so proper. lol.

anyways, i'm gladd to haf brett bak in my life. Cant say much wat undoings he's doing to me rite now but yeahh... he'll foreva be my fren. lol. now i noe da true meaning of foreva frens. we got sort of separated due to some problem. itz been close to a year i guess since we last chatted. now we're bak to gether. there wasnt any awkward moments... except wen we were each absorbed wif our own things. him mainly gettin to noe Islam deeper. lol.

oh well... time for me to like.... start polishin my social skill and get to noe more ppl out dere. i cant cling on to brett anymore. =) and yeah.. he fell for Nas! lol.

"wat haf we done to da world...."

well, isaw the Earth Song vid by Michael Jackson. well... it sure sent torrains of thoughts coursing through my mind.

itz really sadd to see da things we're doin to our world. but yeahh... soon we are da ones to regret too. foolish arent we? tho powerful people are taking care of some of da things done to da world and us, dere will still be remnants of it lying around. like how da war will scar not juz da people but also da soldiers. seein their fellow mates die before them.

itz time we humans step aside and view our world through immortal eyes. itz time tt we ponder over our actions and ask ourselves why we do that. itz time for a change. we need compassion and love not aggression and war. we wan mercy not unpardonness. oh boi. it sure is time for us all to change.

"it goes to show u nvr really noe abt me..."

suicide. tts wat i used to tink abt. i asked Eleanor once if takin painkillers all at one shot wud kill, she said no.dey are suppose to kill da pain arent they? lol.

i feel like a total failure. oh wait. i am. i fail as a student. i passed oni 3 subjects. Pathetic me. =) heyy, patheticism is my name. as a daughter, i failed miserably too. =D i'm grieving my mum. she's gone on and on abt such a lazybum i am. abt how i often hog da com. and dat i dun help wif da housework. but does she noe abt me worrying abt my own studies? abt how we r gonna survive now once sis moves out.

i hafta get a job. and den i'll hafta juggle my time. wif councillor, school and work. soon. i'm searchin for job now. i hate my life tis moment. no offence to Allah. but yes. I know tis is one of Your tests in my life but yeahh.. i'm failing as a human being. i cant take it. Please, show me Your guidance. Lend me Your strength. Your patience.

F.A.S.T.I.N.G

F - faithful to Allah
A - able to endure
S - self-disciplined
T - turn away from temptations
I - ignore wat negative things ppl hafta sae
N - never succumb to temptations
G - God ; Allah is there to guide you.

weee! itz like... hmmm... 19 daes of fasting le... hehe... btw it goes on for 29 daes. hehe Jane asked once. so yepp... and please people, even wen u r fastin and ur frens are not, theres nth " kesian dia..." abt it. y shud u make fastin look like a chore? its not. seriously. tis year... i noe i'm a better person. =) i've improved!

last year i was able to fast for da whole month. hehe. cos my monthly finished juz daes b4 fastin started. tis year i tink da same is gonna happen. 10 more daes. i wanna ace through it. my thang is not here yet. i dun tink it will come for like a few more weeks cos i've been pretty stressed. wif exams, results and councillors' stuff. hehe.

seems to me now i like to update my blog. lol it all comes wif DA mood ya noe. so yeahh.. am tinkin of workin now wif nas.. we are both searchin for jobs. hehe anyone wif any idea where or how to get one, please contact either one of us! hehe thkies. hafta go nw. cya!

"if only for today, i am unafraid..."

weeee!!! Hari Raya is approaching - FAST! hehe.. anieways, been pretty slacked actually. sis made some kuehs and i was da first to down da chocolate kueh thingy..wakrakakaka

anieways, i'm sry i havent been updating..been pretty out of sorts. anyways... lemme juz briefly recall wat happened to me.. [poor mem]

hmmmm... somehow i felt a lil melancholic da past few weeks and thought of the past a LOT. but yeahh... wat da heck i'm ok now. =) [u go gal!] and yeahh.. in school..it cudnt been better. been slacking a lot. tho i need to pick up pace wif my studies. i am seriously deteriorating! haizzz...

hmmm todae went to Geylang to get my clothes changed. The zip broke. wahahaha.. i was gentle u noe..but da zip...haizz.. =P den i've alwaes have dis weakness of not bein able to be walkin around wen fasting else m back will suffer and i'll haf massive headache. i tot i wud faint dere and den but yeahh... i prayed and prayed it wud not happen. i dun wan to break my fast or embarrassed myself. hehe.

yesterdae nite, Dave came online. it was pretty... interestin to see some arabic prayers as his nick so yeahh.. asked around and found out tt he's gonna convert to Islam. hmmmm interestin rite? yepp but i'm glad he's willing to embrace Islam. =) den as i was abt to log off wif Di, Brett added me. i was goin WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!! lol

ppl wont believe da depth of frenship we shared. nobody will understand i guess. hehe. anieways.... my Picasa is dwn now so cant post anymore pics... haizz... i'll try again... see ya!

tis was wen i was feelin' shhweet! :) 

"i got it rite here baybee.."

Okies... i officially need tuition... *burst into tears* I failed soooo many subjects!!! itz REALLY time for me to buck up ya noe... haizzz...

so sadd lorr... i oso scared i mite be among those but on the promotion list...to see whether anot to put those in those list, to sec 4... haizz... scary u noe...

anieways..nth much happened.. been slackin alot.. oni yesterdae stayed in sch till like around 5 like tt... gt some NIE malay thingy.... hmm..den outside da school, we used da crumppled paper and da file given by da NIE peeps, to play a game of so called baseball-cum-badminton game. lol it was fun actually until those choir peeps saw OTHER choir peeps...

hmmm den todae went to play pool... tho i oni played like 3/4 of da game... cos i dunno hw to really play mahh.. i see da rest like a bit pro [excludin sharie], so i dun play liao.. in da end we two wenta play da arcade instead. lol. lamer ritez?

anieways... been havin lotsa things to do tho slackin... hmmmm got da chalet thingy to do and all.. haizz... but anyways... altho things are not goin smoothly in my life, there hasnt been things runnin out of hand.. hmm... am i really a geek? [wat a qn, i noe.] cant help but ask myself.

i envy the loves my frens lead. so carefree and...fun.

"one sweet day.."

Baby,

Boyz II Men:
Sorry I never told you, all I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
Cause you've flown away, so far away


Mariah:
Never had I imagined, living without your smile
Feelin, knowin' you hear me
It keeps me alive, alive


Together:
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day

Mariah:
I'll wait patiently to see you in heaven.


Boyz II Men:
Darlin' I never showed you (no no no)
Assummed you'd, always be there
And I, I took your presence for granted
But I always cared (I always cared)
And I miss the love we shared


Together:
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day


Boyz II Men:
Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day


Mariah:
Yeah Yeah and Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray
Together:
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day


Sorry I never told you, all I wanted to say


I just want to say that i still miss you baby. I miss you so much that only God knows how much i cried for you. I want you back in my life. I love you. And I miss you.

"i dun care..."

oh well.... its friggin sian rite now... have got nth to do at hme now.. lol stupid rite? i noe but yeahh...

haven been goin out much tho.. ermm.. juz wenta da library yesterdae nite to return my books.. den borrowed some too usin diddy's card. hehe anyways, nth much happened u noe.. cos its like friggin borin..

todae is like oni Sundae.. tomoro oso no school... haizz.. wahahaha... markin dae mahh... haiyo.. sian lorr.... haha but i tink now i wan to go off le.. i noe i haven been updatin vry well.. hehe juz gt no mood lorr.. paisehh la. see ya!

"come join my world..."

oh well.. exams are over... but its like.. so sian now.. lol ironic isnt it? wen got exams, we complain sian cos muz study and all.. now exam finish we sian cos gt nth to do...wahahah.. weird ppl we are..

so yeahh... been fasting..for 11 days aledi.. wahahaha... hmmm wat else? hmmm dunno lar... lotsa things happenin rite now.. social life, love life.. i turn they are all takin a turn now.. hehe..

hafta go now.. not in da mood to update yet. so yeahh.. see ya!

"where we're gonna be wen we turn 25..."

Well... i just found out this morning that Si ming and Marion are in Canada!! awww.... me so sadd le.... two of my buddies are gone yet again... haizz... da first was Ming Xian..

Sadd sia... hehe... but yeahh... i still got frens here dun i.. its juz tt... i wonder wats gonna happen to us in da future? =) well, i hafta go now... i noe da entry is hsort.. i'll tell u more later.. got Graduation Day Ceremony... hehe... gd bye..

"every nite i pray on bended knees..."

1 more paper to go!!! [physics] hehe..but i'm nt sur whether to laff or cry... cos I had my Bio and A. Maths papers today... ='(
Bio was emmm ok i guess but even if i pass its borderline..but i doubt it. tt i'll pass tt is. and A. Maths... confirmed i'll fail. Why? Cos of all the 11 questions given to do, i am SLIGHTLY confident abt da first paper. the rest... hmmm... lets juz stop talkin abt it aiite?

anieways... its like now Wednesday... so fast da days went by altho tis Monday Jas and i were like goin... "itz gonna be a looong week.." but yeahh.. da worst has ended. i tink.

so yeahh... been tinkin abt my life and all.. hmmm i'm a failure. i'm like hopeless in studies... hopeless in everything that i do. My life suck. My lovelife suck, my personal life suck. haizzz... sadd sia... anieways...i beta go now... headache... hehe and laziness...

"can we work it out..can we be a family.."

"I ran away today, ran from the noise. Ran away. Don't want to go back to that place. No choice, no way."

i'm so fed up wif my mum. wats her problem? i came home with da notion from sch to come home and watch the movies i have in my com to rid my mind of stress. it was workin wen i enjoyed watching What A Girl Wants.

My mum tol me to accompany my sis to the hospital wif da baby for da check-up. but i didnt want to. I was plannin to start crackin afta Coach Carter. And my mum was like "How could you? Your sis has to carry da baby and da bag.." and i was like.. dun other women wif infants do tat? tts y they are independent?? and she was like but ur sis is fastin.. wat da heck?

heyy, goin out carryin a baby and a bag which is not even heavy, doesnt beat da fact of goin sch and crackin ur brain doin maths sums and findin words to write for u friggin literature. its psychically challengin and dat beats da physical challenge.

anyways, i'm juz so frustrated wif my mum. its either her or sis gettin on my nerves. STRESSED.

"in a family portrait we look pretty happy. lets play pretend like it comes naturally..."

''How do i love thee"

How do i love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My sould can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I lvoe thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with passion put to use

In my old griefs, and that with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love i seemed to lose

With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose

I shall love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sonnets from the Portuguese

"we're all to blame..."

Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Rita [??]. Tsunami. 9/11 incident. Wars. wat in da world is da world comin to? As quoted from Ashlee, a fren of mine, "Give three years and we'll see how the world is. That is if there's any left." I second that.

What's wrong with us humans that we cant refrain from sins? Its true that i'm not even fit to preach others abt tis but its time someone does. One fav topic is sex. ALL religions forbid premarital sex but its like a trend now for people to sleep wif others. Sex is da joining of two souls into one. In fact its called 'making love'. Sex is crude. This act is sacred and should be just within the two lovers. Why go around changing partners?

Wars. Every religion found in this world preaches about the goodwill of life. God created us for us to beget harmony but look wats happening rite now? We are killing each other. What right do we have to kill the lieves that God granted? Who are we to play God by sentencing our own verdict? Itz really sad really. God sees us as brothers and sisters. You don't kill your own siblings, do you?

Maybe all these natural disasters and wars are the last straw to God's patience with us. We've sinned too much. Maybe God wants to start anew. That's why he's down on his fours to scrub on the surface of the Earth. God have mercy. =)

"SPCA to da rescue!!!!"

okies, tis mornin i'm suddenly so bored so i'd decided to like update u peeps on da interestin life i've been leading!

well...there was tis once... Ayin, Nas, Sharifah, Shari, Rainer, Me and three other chinese peeps... we sort of came to waitin for a lil kitten to come dwn form da ermm... second storey platform.. yeahh... tried many ways to get it down but it was such a scaredy cat...

so Rainer called SPCA... and yeahh..we waited and waited... but dey didnt come.. lol so we ended up gettin da help of da ermmm indian construction workers. One of dem said to Rainer dat da "cat up there two daes no makan" lol means never eat. so yeahh.. dey got a ladder to bring it dwn but da supposedly sacredy cat LEAPT down. Great.

in da end we all went home. wasted time rite? but cos its fasting month so its a good deed done. errr yeah.

"somebody saveee...ME! "

hmmmm.... i dun understand y my family cant be like normal other families? i mean, dey sun seem to understand me enuff... i've thses thoughts before not long back.

i dun like goin to my sis's hse. not bcos it suck or wat but itz juz plain boring goin dere. dere's oso no com. well, purely, theres no entertainment. itz juz so... sucky. Plus, i've every intention to study for Maths [y as i'm typin this i feel tt i've deluding myself? lol] so yeahh... freakin sianz.

my only setback is my fears. i fear bein alone. i hate bein alone. my mum said to me dat if i didnt wan to sleepover at my sis's hse den i stay at hme alone and sleep. other peeps wud be thrilled but i'm not. Cos i've got no company. i juz DISLIKE bein alone. i dunno y. mayb itz cos my imagination will run wild. wateva it is... i juz dun like sleepin at my sis's hse. Pure Boredom.

Aniewaes, da exams have been pretty good actually. =) but yeahh... lotsa nerves gettin cranky. Fasting + Exams dun go along quite well... they r juz plain incompatible. so yeahh... life curently sucks. so wat da heck.. am positive i'm failing my A & E Maths and my POA and moz prob BIO.

"i walk along this empty street ; alone.. "

Urgghh!! i'd intended to write in a different entry but NOW, lemme write abt sth else...

i'm so freakin pissed!!!! my mum wants to sleep over at my sis's hse todae... wat da freak sia.... urgghh!!! why cant she juz let sis sleep alone at her own hse wif her own family? y muz she tag along?? she's da one who keep sayin let dem pratice stayin by themselves but rite nw she's da one tts so... URGH!!

i'm like so freakin fcuked up! heck i'm fasting rite now and they.... my gawd!!! tis is like da fourth dae of fasting and oso da fourth consecutive daes dat SOMEONE wud surely irritate me. Urgh! frig sia! so wateva...

oh God... PLEASE send me someone who is willin to share my burden.... ='( i'm so stressed.... plus, i'm like havin maths paper from Mon - Wed! wat da freak rite? darn and my com i slaggin now... GREAT!

oh WADEVA! i got no mood to blog lerr.. haizz... ciao

"watchin every moment still anticipatin' love.."

haizzz...now i at sch usin da com here...weee! at home got com still use sch com...lol
anieways... itz da fastin month now and todae is da first dae of fasting. itz pretty cool so far
oni tat i've been tinkin abt on food. hehe. notti me.

anieways, i dun intend to go home. YET. i wanna waste my time in school den slwly go home den bathe den sleep den break my fast. Weeeee!! lol i noe tts bad of me but yeahh... wat da heck.. i tink afta tis week, i wud be able to get da hang of fasting again... hehe

so yeahh.. tomolo is Social Studies and POA paper 1... haizz... dunno if i cn make it lorr... i really hope i cn like excel my studies... haizz... Maths is like so freakin difficult. for my test right for E Maths i had 7 & for A maths i had 8... haizz... both is upon 25 if i'm nt wrong... haizz.. so sadded lorr... aniewasy, me gonna go off now... hehe... sch com cannot go bloggin lorr.. hehe... heck larr!

"sorrow became his soulmate..."

okies tis is like da 3rd time i'm re-writin my stuff... teehee
anieways.. was juz tinkin of vulgarities
wen i remebered da other dae durin Lit class
wen Mdm Kristine Mary Oehlers [=P] didnt come,
da Lit studs all wen to 306 classroom. and we saw tis
"English Dictionary for Advanced Learners"
and we browsed through.

Fcuk off, fcuk around, fcuk you, fcuk up
all thses words had meanings and at da end
it is written. "VERY RUDE!"
wakrakakakkakak
LAME sia... and dere are words like
men's room... wat da heck? lol

anieways, i'm off to put my BF to bed now! see ya!!

"do u see da world through troubled eyes.."

oh well..havent been updating yeah?
anyways... went to Kulai rmb on Saturdae?
yeahh.. it was pretty okay... first up was
da... horse-riding.. no one went cos it cost us like
RM$52.50 wen in SG it starts from $5 onwards
in Sentosa... haizz... den went to some country club..wahaha...
treated like princess sia.. went Jacuzzi first...
den went swimming.. den da shower room was
so pretty but small yeahh... but den cos da shower room is
in tis place called Women's Changing room and tis room
consisted of jacuzzi, normal toilets and dressing room
and also dere are like big mirors everywhere
and a stretch of dressing tables... and another
3 big mirrors complete wif hair dryer, combs
lotions and etc.. lol.. felt like a princess!!!

den afta dat went ioi shopin mall...
it was ok i guess.. modern bahh.... den da stuff dere
oso nie and cheap..wahahha... didnt realise da
billabong shop and all.. so didnt buy lorr.. but
i bought a VERY nice blouse... weee!!

den yeahh... woke up late todae but managed to made it through
da time but continued yawning todae
and durin malay remedial, we actually had ORAL!!!
argghh!!but i guess i did quite well
considerin a fact that my malay suck...weeee!

so now my com is lagging and yeahh.. i'm gonna go off
to read a book or write stories. oh yeahh...rmb da Him
i alwaes talk abt? well..i dun like him.. =)
he's juz not worth it larr... hehe! adios!!