I really feel hurt... i was really lookin forward to the outing... I'd wanted to de-stress... after all the studying and dreading of PE... its da end of da week... i wanna enjoy it... so we da xpressoz wanted to go to Sentosa..

But my SIS actually had da right to disallow me to go... Juz cos its FAR and juz cos its without THEM. I'm so frustrated!!! I wanna go! i wanna haf fun wif my fwens.... i juz wanna go......

I cant stop crying since then... I'm really sad... i was already gettin ready all the stuff..abt to change den go out... den my friggin SIS said NO.. i mean i dun believe tis! SHE is not da one who has da final say in tis all...but too bad my mom is like SO watever... i dnnoe sia... i really wanna go... i was SO lookin forward to it.. i woke early tis morning cos i was excited abt it... but in the end i'm not goin...

I'm feelin SO angry i juz dunnoe wat to do... i'm juz so angry at my FRIGGIN sister and my mom.... i juz dun understand!! I'm Sec 3 now... i can exercise takin care of my own... There's gonna be LOTS of ppl there in Sentosa... i cant go cos its far... its stoopid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate it! I hate my sis now!!!! i hate my mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i juz wanna go.... tts all... :'(

Back

Hey, i'm back. Hows everyone? I'm feelin gd now... da expressoz r currently on their way to Sentosa... to welcome Shalya to Singapore they are bringin her to Sentosa to haf fun... Cheerios. Anieways... i cant go so yeah... haf lotsa hw to do so yeah.. betta go do them now... see ya.. haf fun!

tis is me at 12.10 pm on Friday [18 March 2005]... 

More of me!!! haharx!! 

Tis is how i looked like on me cousin's engagement.. wahahaha.. Lady in white.. 

me recent pic..wahahaha... look at me cheeks.. chubby.. :P 

and tis is Wong Shun Shun!! haharx! me classmate... suai horx? *bluek* 

Remember da time i told ya guys abt Chingay? tis was wat we saw... among other things of course! 

Lol! THIS is David.. one of me best fwens online.. :) God bless those arms! :P 

All da Expressoz!!! wahaha.. from left above to right.. Nas [apple], Diana [banana], Shari [pumpkin], me[honeydew], ain[gilerr], yati [nonoi] and Sharifah [meche].. wahaha! 

tis is a... a lil sth i did.. all in da past.. juz thought of erm..framing da memory? :) 

tats Aaron makin a wish on us.. :P haharx! 

Tis is like one of my nicest fotos.. haharx.. me fringe.. i've like cut it shorter.. 

What a Day!!

School finished at like 10.35 am.m for my class [10.40 for school] ..lol! Miss Lim gave us 5 min early dismissal. Cos today my school got the Amazing Race thingy. So yeah... at first Sharifah said she was into da idea of not goin to Sentosa and spending the day wif Ofie and all but she changed her mind later. I didnt mind oni tat i dun feel like goin cos i didnt feel good. And usually wen i dun feel good, bad things are bound to happen plus i began pondering whether or not to go since yesterday night. I dunoe y.

However, i dun appreciate the fact tat Wina said, "I dun want u to go wif a black face...". What is she tryin to say? So what if i go wif a black face. And she says she noes me... rite.. even my own family members dunnoe me tat well.. and she said she does... It's like... ok yes i DO go to places wif a sour face but then did anyone realise tat i soon lighten up????? NO! everyone just sees tat i go wif a black face.. no one wanna noe da real reason y i go to certain places wif black face.. wahahaha... shud juz call myself hei-lian [black face]. wahahaha.. anieways, wadever.

Plus Shari is like being so sarcastic since morning... Just then he smsed me and said "Are you upset? Do u need us to cheer u up? U prefer us or ur councillors frens?..." who is he to say such thing? What is he trying to say abt my councillors frens? my councillors fwens and me went through tough things together... yes WE[expressoz and me], DO go through thick and thin together but the point is that.. who is Shari to discriminate my fwens?

Let's forget abt it. Anieways, i didnt go Sentosa today. Lol! Spent the whole day on com... haharx! fun actually u noe... den wen my mum came home wif my cuz..it was pickin up...den juz then made few vids abt my family..haharx.. 'twas fun! Honestly. Then tomoro... maybe i wanna go library.. or swimming... i dunno... we'll see abt tat.. haharx...

Anieways, i've given it serious thoughts, i'm over David.. i mean i wish him all the best wif his gal [she's pwetty!] and wif Brett... hmmm..happie bday? and to Brian... the moments we shared together were beautiful...paradise-like.. and no matter how much i really wanna believe his promises and his vow, i know i must go on. So yeah... this one week holiday, it's time for me to reflect. To change. For the better. Maybe we could be together, Brian. One day...Someday..

Mockingbird?

Who is gonna buy me a mockingbird? and a diamond? and wen da bird dun sing and da ring dun shine, who wud kill da bird and bash da person who sold da diamond up? who will be there to protect me? to pick me up wen i fall? wats promises and vows? so many promises made yet none fulfilled. a vow made but yet lay broken now. why? why does this kinda thing happen to me? maybe i am juz plain silly and stupid. who has a relationship online? or rather long-distanced? wat IS wrong wif me? i'm tinking of him again. and the thought of him is making me cry. Why haf God made our paths crossed? why must we meet? why DID we meet? why? so many questions why? yet no answers... why did he make empty promises? why did he raise my hope high and let it fall juz like tat without a care... and why, foolish me, am pining for him??? why do i like him? why do i LOVE him? why????!!!! why did he haf to lie to me like tat.. dun i mean anything to him? i cant play da perfect person anymore... i dun wanna be another one of the chracter in a romance novel. i dun want my life to be so properly planned... to adjust myself to fit in the role in a novel... no. i haf enough of tat. i have to be true to myself now. When i've learn to love myself as who i am, only then can others love me. I will and so will they. Those who abandoned me or left me, wud come to regret it one day.One day, someday.

What a day!

Cannot make it bahx! PE lorhx... wahhh...buay make it derhx... haharx.. anieways... had me continuation of Literature test.. wahhh.. cannot make it derhx larhx... then... today no MATHS!!!! no Emaths, no A mathes and no POA!! haharx..

so yeah... watched the Cranberries' Zombie music video... for Social Studies.. on Northern Ireland.. its like.. so sad u noe... these children... innocent children being taken away.. their lives... God bless them.. its really horrendous... God save their soul... Amin.

Anieways... i've nothing more to say now... oh yeah.. Shun Wai rite.. he wore da hair band juz now in class.. gdness.. he looks so sweet! lol! suits wif da name Desmonica now... :P

wat else? *sigh* oh yeah.. me havin camp next week.... :( Guides' derhx lorhx... very sien!!!! i dun wan to go.... den Kat not goin lorhx... argh!!! no fwens! no civilisation! no guys! no nothing! haharx... cannot make it derhx larhx... so yeah.. see ya then... buai-buai... *meeting Ofie in two days time*

oh btw.. haharx.. me fwen Michael.. is single now...hmmm... he;s a very sweet and romantic guy.. too bad he not in SG... if he is.. i go chio him!! haharx.. not he chio me derhx.. haharx

It stole my heart!

Last week if i'm not wrong, Wina brought in a stray kitten she picked from the MRT to school, so tat she cud bring it home.. I wasnt really so attached to it until today! I carried the box after school to my class.. cos got the English Enrichment thingy.. so yeah... i juz peak at it from outside da box.. juz looking at it.. and touching once in a while... then after da whole thing finish, i actually craddled the cat in my arms!! it was SO beautiful... then since Nas wanted to adopt it, obviously she's bringin it home larhx but cos she got choir, she got ain and shari and yati to take care of it in da canteen first.. so yeah...while ain and yati talk talk talk..me and shari we got the cat to ourselves.. so i craddled it close to me and walked around the whole school... it was fantastic!!! The kitten [ofie or hawaii], snuggled close to me..or rather..my bosom... haharx.. yeah..then it slept... it felt...well..wonderful... pleasant... motherly.. hahrx.. VERY sweet feelings.. i fell in love wif it rite then! *sigh* rite now i am thinking of it... i miss ofie!! hehe.. i craddled her again.. wen i went home..and she slept through it all... and wen Sharifah carried her from me, she kept mewing... how sweet!! haharx.. cant wait to see her tis Friday... Nas is gonna bring her out on Fri to watch Amazing Race.. [my school one derhx..] den i can play wif her ALL day..haharx!! hehe! i cant wait!! anieways...tomoro there's PE.. sux big-time.. wat da heck! da kitten is my goal now :) God bless her sweet fragile being... I love you Ofie!! *muacks*

Hey y'all

Hey! How's u? haharx. its been quite some time now. I've yet to change da template. i tink tis one is not really nice..so i'm now searching through the skins for the nice ones.. haharx. anieways, nth much happened. Juz hectic. having this investiture thingy...then yeah... tests coming up...hectic.. cannot make it derhz larhx. oh yeah.. yesterday i went for the fine-dining course. gdness! i cudnt really enjoy myself through the 3 meal course at Swensen's! After the 3 coaches went through the theory back at the Guides' House in Bishan, we went to the FUnan IT Mall... at Orchard there.. had our meal there.. we need not pay u noe! haharx. but yeah.. we had to do the practical now.... uh oh.. hahax. "Elbows off the table... hold ur cutleries properly..." blah blah blah.. quie tedious u noe.. we had a soup.. [delicious!!].. in normal time, it wud haf taken me like 5 or 10 minutes to finish..maybe shorter.. THIS time it took me like AGES! 20 minutes??? gdness! "scoop out... then bring it to ur mouth.. dun do da turtle dance..." g-d-n-e-s-s.... cannot make it larhx! then we had spaghetti wif chicken... second course... GDNESS...MORE tedious! we had to noe which cutlery go where.. which hand to hold..HOW to hold... ahhhhhhh.... tedious! and we took like 30 minutes??? wahahahaha tats long u noe..considering the fact dat the food came in small portion. wahahaha then at LONG last, we had da desert... ICE CREAM!!! it was da new flavour... and WE get to taste it first! the vanilla-lime flavoured ice-cream... HEAVENLY.. at THAT time, i REALLY took a long time to finish... to savour each bite... haharx.. nice u noe... then after tat we thanked the Swensen's company... the coaches... then before we knew it, it was finished!! but... it also meant we haf to go bak home ourselves.. uh oh.. we didnt noe tat was coming... but yeah... we walked..from Funan to Plaza Singapura... wahahaha...juz to see Mrs Sandra Ong... she has a shop there... nice shop actually! then from there..i went home..and spent tha time dunno do wat... lol anieways..i hafta go now.. see ya!