Turbulence of Emotions.

Oh well. Where do i start? Sometimes I feel like no one can ever undersatnd me. Sometimes not even me. I wonder why. It's also difficult for me to express myself. It's like, i see this one thing happening & i would want to say something abt it. but when i reach home to my blog page, i don't know what to say. Like now.

Yesterday i saw a pair of close friends i reckon. They were young. And one of them spoke darn good English. It has an American accent. And well, i couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy. it's like Wow. That's very cool. And she was so elegant and poised. It makes me think again about me. If only i can be half as good as her.

Then i saw this little girl. She was well-dressed. She was eating. And the food she was eating was high class food. Trust me. And her mum was sitting cross-legged reading the magazine. It's like. Wow. another thought struck me. I wanna be like her. I want to earn well & work well to enable my children to speak so well, so eloquently and be so poised. I want them to have nice clothes to wear, to have wahtever they want to have. But at the same time, i thought again. I want them to be able to speak for themselves. To know what they really want.

Anyways, i'm just stressed out & also wired up. lols. With exams and all. I cant take it any longer. I'm studying & studying but it seems to me like nothing really went in. It sucks. And the fact that the rest are studying like crazy [mugging], now that's so oh my gawd to me. i'm not the studying material. haiz.

Anieeways, before i go, i just wanna say. I miss HIM. i really do. I think of what he's doing right now. haizz. If only... If only... nvrm. I came to a realisation today and that it. Love is unbelievable. lols. ciaoz.