oh fuck it. tis fucking post got deleted. wat da fuck. goddamit. even my fucking computer is going against me. wat the fuck sial...
i hate my fucking life rite now. its juz so fucked up. i juz hate my life & my family rite now. i juz hate dem all. i dun receive that family support from them. wat did my mum do wen i showed her da book i published? put it aside & tended to other stuff. wen she suddenly wanted to brag abt sth abtr her children.. DEN she remembers abt it.
what does my family do wen i fail my tests, wen my teachers complain abt me? they scold me & threaten me. BUT my frens encouraged me to study harder... they talked to me abt wat i did to deserve da scoldings.... THEY supported me.
i dun see the joy & grandness of being scolded & embarrassed in front of my peers. my sis resorted to tt wen i was in primary school. for gods sake! how old am i?! i'm fucking 15! wats her fucking prob?
so wat if i've been flunking my tests?! i NEED support. i CRAVE for support. do dey noe tt i've been contemplating on wat paths to take for my future career so tt i cn support THEM?! do they noe tt da money they gave me, i keep thinking thrice of how to spend it & why i shud spend it?! NO!
they dunno anything abt me. they misunderstaood my intention. they misjudged my intention. they doubted my words & intention. they dun seem to noe me at all. THEY. THEM who were supposed to know me inside out. They who shud show me moral support. teach me moral courage. show me family love. i juz dun understand dem.
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