the inner me.

I guess it is easy for people to discriminate others. But yeahhs. In my case, it is not discrimination. Its about putting yourself before others. Thats bad.

If i do a survey right now on individuals, asking the question, "Have you put others down so that you can appear to be more superior, cleverer, and shine more than the others?", i bet many would admit yes.

Sometimes i wish that everyone would ask themselves this question, "Would putting others down make me feel better?" If it does, well, I have nothing to say. I guess it is easier to just make yourself "save face" by saying something bad about others. Its the fastest & easiest way to prevent yourself from being put on the spot. What weird humans we have on Earth.

But yes. I guess ive been the butt of jokes & ridicules ever since i was small. ive always been chubby [or rather, FAT]. its the genes in me you see. but yeahhs. ive learnt how to put up with immature people who derives delight through taunting others. No one knew but my childhood was hell. Growing up in a society where weight is a conscious thing, it is hard to unleash my true potential. Instead, i chose to let people think that, "oh, cos she is fat, she wont be able to do it.." oh wells.

But all things must come to an end, whether good or bad. Im glad that i have much more mature friends now [except for a few], who dont call me names. They are friends with whom i can truly be myself. Even if something holds me back, they are there to encourage me. Someone like Meng Chin, he encouraged me to continue running; to reach the finishing point. But like i said, not all. I do have friends still that sometimes hurt me with words they say. I dont know if its intentional or not, it hurt still.

But in this world, nothing & no one is perfect. So we just have to go through life as it is. Although the real world is really a dog-eat-dog world, putting others down, dont make you shine any brighter. With good comes evil. With friends like Meng Chin, i can continue to run this race. The race of my life; and never give up.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine,as children do.
It's not just in some of us,it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

Beautiful lines i took from the movie Coach Carter. Remember people, you might not know it but you might be others inspiration. Being nice wont hurt or kill. =] ciaoz.