i want to ride my bicycle...

a song by Queen. and i SO disagree wif dem. my pantat ochey aledi u noe! meaning my butt sore aledi! lol. and itz juz nt mine alone lor... is 12 other people oso. had our chalet yesterdae. quite disappointin cos da people who were suppose to come didnt turn up. but wadeva. denn me, Jasmine & Melissa went to East Coast earlier to check out where's da chalet. den we rented bikes overnite ar. tt was at 1.20pm. we were at da jetty at around 2 sth.enjoyin scenery and wind. den we met up wif da rest of dem. oh & tt was af ta da long ride bak to our chalet and den meet da rest again at da bicycle rental shop. 5.30 meet bak at chalet. all go cycling. at 4.45 however, da food we ordered were to be delivered. so da few of us rushed to carpark D2. it was tiring. really. weee. food. glorious food. budden, i cycled out wif Ger to buy thongs at 7-11. long ride again.butt ochey ler. den saw Rudy squattin by da roadside. da 309 geeks left him behind cos dey had bikes where he had to run afta dem. geeks! so i accompany him ride/run until Ying Chao came bak to save him. den off i wen bak to da chalet. tiring! night riding! afta bbq, we all chiong go jetty. chiong chiong chiong... reach jetty. den i climb over da barrier together wif others to sit on da ledge. once drop, u drown. i noe mama wud kill me alive but it WAS cool. den climb bak. and we cycled all da way bak to da other jetty. meaning goin through da long ride to our chalet den proceedin on from dere to Bedok jetty i heard. WTH?! my kneecaps were really burning! i cudnt take it anymore!! so had difficulties. blah blah. reach jetty, i lied dwn. cannot endure ler. cross my leg, cannot uncross. lol. TTS hw bad it was. but wen goin bak, i took da double rider bike. i sat wif Josh. hehe. he paddled all da wae 'home' while i tried to tok to him so as to not make hin slp. u go Josh! den dey wanted to bbq again. den i and hui ting went upstairs wif da rest. dey play games, we tok & tok den play play. den afta a while, me & hui ting lie dwn on da beds. ready to slp. but i cudnt slp. bluek. 4 sth most of us woke up except for cheryl & gang. so wat did we do? wee mornin riding!! lol. we went to da jetty AGAIN to catch sunrise but wen they saw lightning, dey decided to go bak. so we wenta Mac instead. sat there for 15 minutes juz relaxin our muscles. nvr order anythin lor except Ye Sheng. afta breakfast at 6 [fang jun ate my hashbrown]. we cycled bak to chalet. woke da rest up ask dem go breakfast den we all chiong in da room. 2 straight hours, no disturbance. all peace. all slept. morning woke up again, see da rest gone. oni da few of us. went dwnstairs. den ended up slpin on da table! lol. den later went up again & slept again. atlast! go home time!!! hehe. skipp da rest. CYCLE again to bicycle shop, return bikes den we use our legs to bring us to da bus staition. & from dere, we all went home. phew. now eatin maggie. lol. leg vry suan. cannot tahan lor. but yeahh.. it was really fun lor! oni now me nt gonna ride bicycle or a VERY long time. cya!

tired.sick.die-ing.

the camp's over. awwww. lol. i glanced a lil at Brendan then it's over. he's cute la but well, way too old for me. hehe.

anyways, todae mainly tok a lot. shared abt our Amazing Race experiences & stuff. den ermmm we had lunch denn... oh yahh we saw great vidds. lol. those entertainment kinda thingy lar.. vry interestin!

hmmm. am vry tiredd rite nw. haf been havin da flu for quite some time now. and nw gt da flu too! poor me. hehe. den wat else? oh yahh, todae afta da camp thingy rite, we saw an injured bird... poor thing! lol.

den went to da NTUC to buy da chalet food but...no money! lol. and jasmine waited for us for 45 minutes but we didnt buy anything! lol. she was like... wat da heck! lol. vry funny.

and brett. i'm hurt by what u said. i dun wanna hear abt u. heart broke. u hurt me. ouch.

Coca Cola

Put The Lime In The Coke, You Nut And Drink Them Together.

Oompa Loompa

US got Holly, India got Bolly. Singapore neh? Singapore got... i see Oli! lol. tt was da conversation that took place between me & Yan Ling at Orchard. The student leaders were having our Amazing Race there! lol. and yeahh. it was part of the Leadership Programme. i didnt noe Amazing Race cud be SO friggin' tiresome. but we saw Olinda & Najip Ali. wow. we ran to da first checkpoint. & ran all the way to the second i tink. not sure but we ran till my lungs felt as though it was on fire. lol. i hafta say tho tt da Newbies were a cool bunch of people. Atleast in my group. dey were really havin' a good time from wat i saw & my grp laff alot! the Oompa Loompa consisted of 15 student leaders. we had 7 old ppl & 8 newbies i tink. hehe. a lot of peeps man. yepp and we had lotsa fun. oh yeahh. Brendan is cute! he's one of da instructors around. wee!

"Melodi rintihan hati ini..."

pheeew... itz been a greatt time so far all this Hari Raya-ing. lol. and yeahh.. i like good outside.. but in pics i suck man. eew. haizz..

anieways, todae went over to my second uncle house afta 5 long yrs of dispute. WOW. da womenfolk cried except for me and it was well... overwhelming. yepp.. den we stayed dere for quite a long while.. den we were off. tt is afta seekin forgiveness and all. tt sorta thing lar.

sooo... next week i'll be friggin busy! wif councillors' stuff, CAmp.. hmmm dentist thingy... den go hari raya-ing again... wot else? oh yeahh.. been chattin quite frequently wif Brennan. poor baby.. he's havin prob wif his gal... awww... *hugz Brennan* hope everything goes well for u hun!

time to go! ciao!

"you gotta go find ur shining starr..."

oh well... itz da 2nd dae of Hari Raya & i've been ... Beeee zeeee!!! oh garsh! i keep washing and washing da friggin dishes & lay out da plates for peeps to eat. lol. i am now an accomplished waitress. thk yew!

anieways... da first day me family all seek forgiveness... i cried wen i was wif my sis... awwww... lol den yepp yepp... collected money money and more money. lol den i tink afta tt took lotsa pics... ermmm not really a LOT la... juz enuff to get by.. lol

anieways... me wanna go away for a while now... oh yeahh.. been chattin a lot of Di, Brett, Kenneth and some other ppl.. lol nice peeps dey are.. anieways.. goin now. ciao.

my tears of love turned into tears of hate.

My dad cried. tts da first time dat i see him cry juz like tt. and itz cos of TT person & his family. my so-called neighbour. i'm tellin u guys. i've nvvr seen my Dad cry so if dey come to my hse to seek forgiveness, i'd ignore dem. nuh uh. fcuk dem all. actin' arrogant in front of me. well den, we'll let da battle begin den.

enuff of tis. anyways, my life has been topsy-turvy. sometimes i cant take it stayin at home. other times i dun wish to leae home. ahhh... hmmm wat else.. oh yeahh.. been chattin wif brett.. got re-acquinted wif Joe. lol. tt guy is actually 17! and he's blonde. aiite.. himbo?! =P lol

anyways. Selamat Hari Raya you people out there. we'll go out soon yeah? =) see ya all!

"how cud tis happen to me..."

oh well, todae is da last dae of fasting and tomoro it'll be Hari Raya. =) well, somehow tis year, i dun haf da MOOD.

anieways, i find tt Brett and me are drifting apart. afta tt one nite especially. we juz sort of... drifted. i wanan chat wif him but i dunno wat to talk abt.. we didnt haf tis kinda prob before... and now.. he alwaes seem to be busy...

anieways, todae i wenta haf my hair cut. =D ermm layered and shorten. hehe. i tink i lok nice.. tho ermm not much diff.. i'm not even gd-lookin in da first place..so yeahh wat da heck.. aniewaes...am off to help clen da hse AGAIN. da things to clean juz goes on and on... haizz. see ya. oh yeah,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir & Batin.

ignore my hair. tts wat i'm gonna wear to parrty! 

i noe i'm sweet. =D 

tts all da peeps hu wenta celebrate Diana's 15th Bdae! cheerios! 

Piano laydee. =D 

pretty baybehs! Nas & moi. 

NURA ROCKS!

Never deny that fact.

untitled

oh well, da past few daes haf been goin on fine. =) yesterdae Diana [bdae gal], Nas, Shari, Syidah, Sharifah and me, hit da town. Walked around at Far East, Nas searchin for new shoes for Hari Raya. lol. she's got a big feet cos da shoes she liked didnt carry her size. lol.

den me and Diana were like buying fruits & pretending we werent malays. lol. we were speaking in mandarin.. those basic ones lar... lol. it was lame actually. da other three, Shari, Syidah and pah went off to some other shops larr.. lol. den we walked around and Nas & Diana went Wisma while da rest of us went This Fashion to look for clothes.

Shari was boredd to tears! lol. Syidah & Pah kept tryin on clothes tho they had no intention of buyin at first. but later dey each bought one. then i showed Pah da blouse tt i bought.. [i'll send in da pic] & yeahh we spent abt an hour or so there.

den we wenta buy Old Chang Kee food.. Diana and Me had started a lil bit... den we took da Mrt to go to Bugis la.. but durin tt time, it was already breaking fast time.. and i told dem to juz haf a bite so dat their fasting wont be annulled. wadeva u call it. but those idiots carried on to eat... den ppl kept lookin at us lor.. haizz..

den we took lotsa pics at Bugis!!! lol. we had wanted to eat da da rows of Chinese stalls, halal of course, but it was too crowded tt we went to the Raffles Hospital and ate at the Banquet there. lol. it was cool . but dere wasnt anythin dat appealed to me. so i followed into Diana's footstep - i bought fruits and honeydew milkshake. =D

hmmmm wat else? nth much actually. slept REALLY late again. was chattin wif Brett adn Hui Ting and some other more peeps. lol. oh ya... Pris went to Genting without telling me lor.. so sadded. few daes bak i slept at 3.30 am den yesterdae i slept ar 2.30 am... haizz.. i still feel weird bein in tt room.

move OVER, Nora Roberts.

...and here comes da new author, Nura Osman. =D wakrakakakaka... as u cn prolly guess, i've received my published book. itz Mine.

ohh yeahh... i found several errors there as mentioned by Mrs Sng. lol. horrible la.. but yeahh... i'm so happy that i haf accomplished my dream - to write a book. yay!!

i guess itz sort of nice to achieve ur dreams. Mayb i shall now proceed to my next step to gain more self-confidence. I shall start to sing. in public. wakrakakakka.. jokin... cos u see, wenever i sing or scold in public... [da scoldin occurs to shoutin durin camps or watsoeva] my upper lip wud twitch. and it seems and feels funny. lol. so yeahh...

anyways, i wanna go away now... i'll blog again later. see ya! oh yeahh...

SCHOOL'S OUT!

itz slowly sinkin in....

oh well...i'm havin difficulties tryin to put the old Brett into the new one. i'm not sure if i like him this way. He's converted to Islam and yeahh.. itz kinda nice to noe tt he's willin to embrace Islam. Though his reason was just that he's interested in it.

amd dave is on his way to Islamic World. lol. i dunno wat to sae abt tis. i mean tho my opinion means nothing but... it does feel weird to be all saint wen long ago we did outrageous things together. now its like... so proper. lol.

anyways, i'm gladd to haf brett bak in my life. Cant say much wat undoings he's doing to me rite now but yeahh... he'll foreva be my fren. lol. now i noe da true meaning of foreva frens. we got sort of separated due to some problem. itz been close to a year i guess since we last chatted. now we're bak to gether. there wasnt any awkward moments... except wen we were each absorbed wif our own things. him mainly gettin to noe Islam deeper. lol.

oh well... time for me to like.... start polishin my social skill and get to noe more ppl out dere. i cant cling on to brett anymore. =) and yeah.. he fell for Nas! lol.

"wat haf we done to da world...."

well, isaw the Earth Song vid by Michael Jackson. well... it sure sent torrains of thoughts coursing through my mind.

itz really sadd to see da things we're doin to our world. but yeahh... soon we are da ones to regret too. foolish arent we? tho powerful people are taking care of some of da things done to da world and us, dere will still be remnants of it lying around. like how da war will scar not juz da people but also da soldiers. seein their fellow mates die before them.

itz time we humans step aside and view our world through immortal eyes. itz time tt we ponder over our actions and ask ourselves why we do that. itz time for a change. we need compassion and love not aggression and war. we wan mercy not unpardonness. oh boi. it sure is time for us all to change.

"it goes to show u nvr really noe abt me..."

suicide. tts wat i used to tink abt. i asked Eleanor once if takin painkillers all at one shot wud kill, she said no.dey are suppose to kill da pain arent they? lol.

i feel like a total failure. oh wait. i am. i fail as a student. i passed oni 3 subjects. Pathetic me. =) heyy, patheticism is my name. as a daughter, i failed miserably too. =D i'm grieving my mum. she's gone on and on abt such a lazybum i am. abt how i often hog da com. and dat i dun help wif da housework. but does she noe abt me worrying abt my own studies? abt how we r gonna survive now once sis moves out.

i hafta get a job. and den i'll hafta juggle my time. wif councillor, school and work. soon. i'm searchin for job now. i hate my life tis moment. no offence to Allah. but yes. I know tis is one of Your tests in my life but yeahh.. i'm failing as a human being. i cant take it. Please, show me Your guidance. Lend me Your strength. Your patience.

F.A.S.T.I.N.G

F - faithful to Allah
A - able to endure
S - self-disciplined
T - turn away from temptations
I - ignore wat negative things ppl hafta sae
N - never succumb to temptations
G - God ; Allah is there to guide you.

weee! itz like... hmmm... 19 daes of fasting le... hehe... btw it goes on for 29 daes. hehe Jane asked once. so yepp... and please people, even wen u r fastin and ur frens are not, theres nth " kesian dia..." abt it. y shud u make fastin look like a chore? its not. seriously. tis year... i noe i'm a better person. =) i've improved!

last year i was able to fast for da whole month. hehe. cos my monthly finished juz daes b4 fastin started. tis year i tink da same is gonna happen. 10 more daes. i wanna ace through it. my thang is not here yet. i dun tink it will come for like a few more weeks cos i've been pretty stressed. wif exams, results and councillors' stuff. hehe.

seems to me now i like to update my blog. lol it all comes wif DA mood ya noe. so yeahh.. am tinkin of workin now wif nas.. we are both searchin for jobs. hehe anyone wif any idea where or how to get one, please contact either one of us! hehe thkies. hafta go nw. cya!

"if only for today, i am unafraid..."

weeee!!! Hari Raya is approaching - FAST! hehe.. anieways, been pretty slacked actually. sis made some kuehs and i was da first to down da chocolate kueh thingy..wakrakakaka

anieways, i'm sry i havent been updating..been pretty out of sorts. anyways... lemme juz briefly recall wat happened to me.. [poor mem]

hmmmm... somehow i felt a lil melancholic da past few weeks and thought of the past a LOT. but yeahh... wat da heck i'm ok now. =) [u go gal!] and yeahh.. in school..it cudnt been better. been slacking a lot. tho i need to pick up pace wif my studies. i am seriously deteriorating! haizzz...

hmmm todae went to Geylang to get my clothes changed. The zip broke. wahahaha.. i was gentle u noe..but da zip...haizz.. =P den i've alwaes have dis weakness of not bein able to be walkin around wen fasting else m back will suffer and i'll haf massive headache. i tot i wud faint dere and den but yeahh... i prayed and prayed it wud not happen. i dun wan to break my fast or embarrassed myself. hehe.

yesterdae nite, Dave came online. it was pretty... interestin to see some arabic prayers as his nick so yeahh.. asked around and found out tt he's gonna convert to Islam. hmmmm interestin rite? yepp but i'm glad he's willing to embrace Islam. =) den as i was abt to log off wif Di, Brett added me. i was goin WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!! lol

ppl wont believe da depth of frenship we shared. nobody will understand i guess. hehe. anieways.... my Picasa is dwn now so cant post anymore pics... haizz... i'll try again... see ya!

tis was wen i was feelin' shhweet! :) 

"i got it rite here baybee.."

Okies... i officially need tuition... *burst into tears* I failed soooo many subjects!!! itz REALLY time for me to buck up ya noe... haizzz...

so sadd lorr... i oso scared i mite be among those but on the promotion list...to see whether anot to put those in those list, to sec 4... haizz... scary u noe...

anieways..nth much happened.. been slackin alot.. oni yesterdae stayed in sch till like around 5 like tt... gt some NIE malay thingy.... hmm..den outside da school, we used da crumppled paper and da file given by da NIE peeps, to play a game of so called baseball-cum-badminton game. lol it was fun actually until those choir peeps saw OTHER choir peeps...

hmmm den todae went to play pool... tho i oni played like 3/4 of da game... cos i dunno hw to really play mahh.. i see da rest like a bit pro [excludin sharie], so i dun play liao.. in da end we two wenta play da arcade instead. lol. lamer ritez?

anieways... been havin lotsa things to do tho slackin... hmmmm got da chalet thingy to do and all.. haizz... but anyways... altho things are not goin smoothly in my life, there hasnt been things runnin out of hand.. hmm... am i really a geek? [wat a qn, i noe.] cant help but ask myself.

i envy the loves my frens lead. so carefree and...fun.

"one sweet day.."

Baby,

Boyz II Men:
Sorry I never told you, all I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
Cause you've flown away, so far away


Mariah:
Never had I imagined, living without your smile
Feelin, knowin' you hear me
It keeps me alive, alive


Together:
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day

Mariah:
I'll wait patiently to see you in heaven.


Boyz II Men:
Darlin' I never showed you (no no no)
Assummed you'd, always be there
And I, I took your presence for granted
But I always cared (I always cared)
And I miss the love we shared


Together:
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day


Boyz II Men:
Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day


Mariah:
Yeah Yeah and Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray
Together:
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together (together)
One sweet day


Sorry I never told you, all I wanted to say


I just want to say that i still miss you baby. I miss you so much that only God knows how much i cried for you. I want you back in my life. I love you. And I miss you.

"i dun care..."

oh well.... its friggin sian rite now... have got nth to do at hme now.. lol stupid rite? i noe but yeahh...

haven been goin out much tho.. ermm.. juz wenta da library yesterdae nite to return my books.. den borrowed some too usin diddy's card. hehe anyways, nth much happened u noe.. cos its like friggin borin..

todae is like oni Sundae.. tomoro oso no school... haizz.. wahahaha... markin dae mahh... haiyo.. sian lorr.... haha but i tink now i wan to go off le.. i noe i haven been updatin vry well.. hehe juz gt no mood lorr.. paisehh la. see ya!

"come join my world..."

oh well.. exams are over... but its like.. so sian now.. lol ironic isnt it? wen got exams, we complain sian cos muz study and all.. now exam finish we sian cos gt nth to do...wahahah.. weird ppl we are..

so yeahh... been fasting..for 11 days aledi.. wahahaha... hmmm wat else? hmmm dunno lar... lotsa things happenin rite now.. social life, love life.. i turn they are all takin a turn now.. hehe..

hafta go now.. not in da mood to update yet. so yeahh.. see ya!

"where we're gonna be wen we turn 25..."

Well... i just found out this morning that Si ming and Marion are in Canada!! awww.... me so sadd le.... two of my buddies are gone yet again... haizz... da first was Ming Xian..

Sadd sia... hehe... but yeahh... i still got frens here dun i.. its juz tt... i wonder wats gonna happen to us in da future? =) well, i hafta go now... i noe da entry is hsort.. i'll tell u more later.. got Graduation Day Ceremony... hehe... gd bye..

"every nite i pray on bended knees..."

1 more paper to go!!! [physics] hehe..but i'm nt sur whether to laff or cry... cos I had my Bio and A. Maths papers today... ='(
Bio was emmm ok i guess but even if i pass its borderline..but i doubt it. tt i'll pass tt is. and A. Maths... confirmed i'll fail. Why? Cos of all the 11 questions given to do, i am SLIGHTLY confident abt da first paper. the rest... hmmm... lets juz stop talkin abt it aiite?

anieways... its like now Wednesday... so fast da days went by altho tis Monday Jas and i were like goin... "itz gonna be a looong week.." but yeahh.. da worst has ended. i tink.

so yeahh... been tinkin abt my life and all.. hmmm i'm a failure. i'm like hopeless in studies... hopeless in everything that i do. My life suck. My lovelife suck, my personal life suck. haizzz... sadd sia... anieways...i beta go now... headache... hehe and laziness...

"can we work it out..can we be a family.."

"I ran away today, ran from the noise. Ran away. Don't want to go back to that place. No choice, no way."

i'm so fed up wif my mum. wats her problem? i came home with da notion from sch to come home and watch the movies i have in my com to rid my mind of stress. it was workin wen i enjoyed watching What A Girl Wants.

My mum tol me to accompany my sis to the hospital wif da baby for da check-up. but i didnt want to. I was plannin to start crackin afta Coach Carter. And my mum was like "How could you? Your sis has to carry da baby and da bag.." and i was like.. dun other women wif infants do tat? tts y they are independent?? and she was like but ur sis is fastin.. wat da heck?

heyy, goin out carryin a baby and a bag which is not even heavy, doesnt beat da fact of goin sch and crackin ur brain doin maths sums and findin words to write for u friggin literature. its psychically challengin and dat beats da physical challenge.

anyways, i'm juz so frustrated wif my mum. its either her or sis gettin on my nerves. STRESSED.

"in a family portrait we look pretty happy. lets play pretend like it comes naturally..."

''How do i love thee"

How do i love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My sould can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I lvoe thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with passion put to use

In my old griefs, and that with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love i seemed to lose

With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose

I shall love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sonnets from the Portuguese

"we're all to blame..."

Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Rita [??]. Tsunami. 9/11 incident. Wars. wat in da world is da world comin to? As quoted from Ashlee, a fren of mine, "Give three years and we'll see how the world is. That is if there's any left." I second that.

What's wrong with us humans that we cant refrain from sins? Its true that i'm not even fit to preach others abt tis but its time someone does. One fav topic is sex. ALL religions forbid premarital sex but its like a trend now for people to sleep wif others. Sex is da joining of two souls into one. In fact its called 'making love'. Sex is crude. This act is sacred and should be just within the two lovers. Why go around changing partners?

Wars. Every religion found in this world preaches about the goodwill of life. God created us for us to beget harmony but look wats happening rite now? We are killing each other. What right do we have to kill the lieves that God granted? Who are we to play God by sentencing our own verdict? Itz really sad really. God sees us as brothers and sisters. You don't kill your own siblings, do you?

Maybe all these natural disasters and wars are the last straw to God's patience with us. We've sinned too much. Maybe God wants to start anew. That's why he's down on his fours to scrub on the surface of the Earth. God have mercy. =)

"SPCA to da rescue!!!!"

okies, tis mornin i'm suddenly so bored so i'd decided to like update u peeps on da interestin life i've been leading!

well...there was tis once... Ayin, Nas, Sharifah, Shari, Rainer, Me and three other chinese peeps... we sort of came to waitin for a lil kitten to come dwn form da ermm... second storey platform.. yeahh... tried many ways to get it down but it was such a scaredy cat...

so Rainer called SPCA... and yeahh..we waited and waited... but dey didnt come.. lol so we ended up gettin da help of da ermmm indian construction workers. One of dem said to Rainer dat da "cat up there two daes no makan" lol means never eat. so yeahh.. dey got a ladder to bring it dwn but da supposedly sacredy cat LEAPT down. Great.

in da end we all went home. wasted time rite? but cos its fasting month so its a good deed done. errr yeah.

"somebody saveee...ME! "

hmmmm.... i dun understand y my family cant be like normal other families? i mean, dey sun seem to understand me enuff... i've thses thoughts before not long back.

i dun like goin to my sis's hse. not bcos it suck or wat but itz juz plain boring goin dere. dere's oso no com. well, purely, theres no entertainment. itz juz so... sucky. Plus, i've every intention to study for Maths [y as i'm typin this i feel tt i've deluding myself? lol] so yeahh... freakin sianz.

my only setback is my fears. i fear bein alone. i hate bein alone. my mum said to me dat if i didnt wan to sleepover at my sis's hse den i stay at hme alone and sleep. other peeps wud be thrilled but i'm not. Cos i've got no company. i juz DISLIKE bein alone. i dunno y. mayb itz cos my imagination will run wild. wateva it is... i juz dun like sleepin at my sis's hse. Pure Boredom.

Aniewaes, da exams have been pretty good actually. =) but yeahh... lotsa nerves gettin cranky. Fasting + Exams dun go along quite well... they r juz plain incompatible. so yeahh... life curently sucks. so wat da heck.. am positive i'm failing my A & E Maths and my POA and moz prob BIO.

"i walk along this empty street ; alone.. "

Urgghh!! i'd intended to write in a different entry but NOW, lemme write abt sth else...

i'm so freakin pissed!!!! my mum wants to sleep over at my sis's hse todae... wat da freak sia.... urgghh!!! why cant she juz let sis sleep alone at her own hse wif her own family? y muz she tag along?? she's da one who keep sayin let dem pratice stayin by themselves but rite nw she's da one tts so... URGH!!

i'm like so freakin fcuked up! heck i'm fasting rite now and they.... my gawd!!! tis is like da fourth dae of fasting and oso da fourth consecutive daes dat SOMEONE wud surely irritate me. Urgh! frig sia! so wateva...

oh God... PLEASE send me someone who is willin to share my burden.... ='( i'm so stressed.... plus, i'm like havin maths paper from Mon - Wed! wat da freak rite? darn and my com i slaggin now... GREAT!

oh WADEVA! i got no mood to blog lerr.. haizz... ciao

"watchin every moment still anticipatin' love.."

haizzz...now i at sch usin da com here...weee! at home got com still use sch com...lol
anieways... itz da fastin month now and todae is da first dae of fasting. itz pretty cool so far
oni tat i've been tinkin abt on food. hehe. notti me.

anieways, i dun intend to go home. YET. i wanna waste my time in school den slwly go home den bathe den sleep den break my fast. Weeeee!! lol i noe tts bad of me but yeahh... wat da heck.. i tink afta tis week, i wud be able to get da hang of fasting again... hehe

so yeahh.. tomolo is Social Studies and POA paper 1... haizz... dunno if i cn make it lorr... i really hope i cn like excel my studies... haizz... Maths is like so freakin difficult. for my test right for E Maths i had 7 & for A maths i had 8... haizz... both is upon 25 if i'm nt wrong... haizz.. so sadded lorr... aniewasy, me gonna go off now... hehe... sch com cannot go bloggin lorr.. hehe... heck larr!

"sorrow became his soulmate..."

okies tis is like da 3rd time i'm re-writin my stuff... teehee
anieways.. was juz tinkin of vulgarities
wen i remebered da other dae durin Lit class
wen Mdm Kristine Mary Oehlers [=P] didnt come,
da Lit studs all wen to 306 classroom. and we saw tis
"English Dictionary for Advanced Learners"
and we browsed through.

Fcuk off, fcuk around, fcuk you, fcuk up
all thses words had meanings and at da end
it is written. "VERY RUDE!"
wakrakakakkakak
LAME sia... and dere are words like
men's room... wat da heck? lol

anieways, i'm off to put my BF to bed now! see ya!!

"do u see da world through troubled eyes.."

oh well..havent been updating yeah?
anyways... went to Kulai rmb on Saturdae?
yeahh.. it was pretty okay... first up was
da... horse-riding.. no one went cos it cost us like
RM$52.50 wen in SG it starts from $5 onwards
in Sentosa... haizz... den went to some country club..wahaha...
treated like princess sia.. went Jacuzzi first...
den went swimming.. den da shower room was
so pretty but small yeahh... but den cos da shower room is
in tis place called Women's Changing room and tis room
consisted of jacuzzi, normal toilets and dressing room
and also dere are like big mirors everywhere
and a stretch of dressing tables... and another
3 big mirrors complete wif hair dryer, combs
lotions and etc.. lol.. felt like a princess!!!

den afta dat went ioi shopin mall...
it was ok i guess.. modern bahh.... den da stuff dere
oso nie and cheap..wahahha... didnt realise da
billabong shop and all.. so didnt buy lorr.. but
i bought a VERY nice blouse... weee!!

den yeahh... woke up late todae but managed to made it through
da time but continued yawning todae
and durin malay remedial, we actually had ORAL!!!
argghh!!but i guess i did quite well
considerin a fact that my malay suck...weeee!

so now my com is lagging and yeahh.. i'm gonna go off
to read a book or write stories. oh yeahh...rmb da Him
i alwaes talk abt? well..i dun like him.. =)
he's juz not worth it larr... hehe! adios!!

"Goodbye My Lover..."

itz been 3 yrs nw
but our relationship is a flop
what exactly was your aim
by gettin me caught up in this whirlwind of romance
all those times we shared together
do they mean nothing to you
do I mean anything to you

i tried to forget you
and i thought i did but i thought wrong
you haunted me like a ghost from da past
you knew my darkest secret
you vowed to honour me
but it was a lie
a lie that i believed wholeheartedly

we've nvr said gdbye
but in my heart i noe that itz over
itz time for me to move on
but da bind u had over me juz cudnt be lifted
i really tried to forget you and accept others
but you kept coming bak
haunting me and depressing me

from like came to love
and now it came to HATE.
i hate you for leavin me hanging on tis thread
i hate you for makin me feel foolish
hate you for makin me hurt
i hate you for making me love you.

if we were to meet
i would just stare at you
wonder if this is the person i've alwaes loved
then i'll ask
why
and i'll leave u standin there
like da wae u left me hanging
all da promises broken
all the trust shattered
you will continue to be a part of me;
a part of me that has DIED.

gd bye my lover
da beautiful times we shared has come to an end
itz time to move on
to each his own
goodbye.

"my life is brilliant..."

hmmm.... so many daes nvr update... cos firstly... been stayin bak late in sch to revise maths and stuff...so yeahh... den reach home vry sian lerr.. so dun wan blog.. den like tat lorr...

todae got Eng Final Paper lorr... haizz.. tink i fail liao..my compo is i anyhow shoot lorr... den my compre horr.. haizz... is suppose to leave 3 lines afta each whole qn... but i didnt read instructions.... den wen left wif like 10 minutes like dat i realise den i quickly rewrote da whole thing lorr... haizz.. my handwriting like kanasai lor!! haizz..sadded lorr..

hmmm..den da past few daes.. been ermm studyin maths lorr.. sian..den at sch i bu shuang wif Mr Lee... haizz.. heck lar... anieways..got funny thing happen...

Jr said da boii bside him irritated him a lot lorr.. he relate to me lar.. he was doin his work arr.. teacher giv time to finish her work arr... den he varied his anwer wif his other fwen arr budden da boii bside him keep askin wat was written den da boii was like.. ok..den wats below...oh wats da value? dat kinda thing.. then he pissed lorr... wahahha.. den his fwen behind heard thier commotion..den his fwen suan him.. imitating wat da boii sae lor.. wahahha.. poor Jr.. =P

anieways... dats da oni thing dat cheers me up on dat particular dae... weeee! den wen i oso suan Jr.. wahahah he bu shuang oso.. he try to suan me.. wahahha.. sae me stupid hor? dunno how to tag... wahahha.. stoopid Jr.. den wat else ar? oh yahh..tis Sundae am goin out wif EIGHTEEN people.. go Kulai Island..

AUnt Lin said dere got resort and stuff den got spa..swimmin .. horse-ridin.. hehe.. i cant wait to go lorr!! den 2/3 of da peeps is i not close or i dunno lorr.. haizz.. goin wif my mom and dad lorr.. haizz.. mus destress... mayb will bring all my A maths formula dere.. wahahhaa... LAMER!

"in a family portrait..we looked pretty hapiie.."

haizz... i'm sian-ed to da max!haizz...now i noe y i prefer ang moh guys... local guys are just... haizz.. so sadd..

anieways, came home straight afta school.. had nth to do mahh... den reached home early... took care of BF for a while den go bathe lorr... den afta changed, ate lunch .. den at da same time tok to mama abt sis and all lor.. abt her nt givin mama enuff cash den waste money buy new set of bed furnitures.. haizz...den we tok tok tok lor.. mother daughter tok la...

den switched on com, listened music while doin Maths revision... hehe guai kia rite?? i noe la... cant help it... den afta a few papers done, came online at ard... 5 plus arr... den yar... went irc to check out da local peeps.. haizz.. more disappointment la... juz not interested.. haizz..

so yar lorr... i worry a lot abt my family lorr... Daddy is da oni one workin... mama take care of BF budden my sis dun giv enuff cash lorr.. haizz.. den still cn buy clothes for BF and new shoe for herself... haizz... sianz to da max-ed!

"Love hurts..."

haizz... sry for not updatin my bloggie... but yeahh... lotsa things happened.. hehe.. but yeahh.. wat da heck..

anyways on wednesday or thursday, my bf was admitted in the hospital...he cudnt breath again... =( but den he's at home now. lol! he came back yesterday. den yesterdae we went to Cik Oyah's hse for some kenduri... so yeahh... got irritated at someone at da wae she was carryin my dearest bf... but yeahh... i haf no right i haf no sae...

denn on fridae went to Seoul Garden to celebrate Mus' bdae! Happy Bdae Gal!!! hehe... we went there and had LOTS of fun! [didnt we?] i sure did! lol den yeahh... ayin dripped ice cream on my skirt... tts of course afta i dripped some on hers! =P lol

den wat else.. oh yeahh... Sat went out wif Pris and Jas... supposed to be studyin but we were talkin and eating 95% of da time... lol den we did a lil bit of Trigo and Circles den we were off to da ARCADE!

met Charles. he cudnt play da drum game right!! he's tune deaf! cudnt get a note rite in da end Jas took over.. lol. oh yeahh.. Pris has got NO co-ordination too! we played a music game oso.. da round round buttons... pris cudnt get it rite.. we failed cos of her... "You are a loser" .. in da end we 'kicked' her out and played juz da two of us [jas and me].. we became... "You are a winner!" lol!

den todae went off to Grassroots' wif Jas again... played arcade again.. lol! den we wanted to play tis gun game... but jas' coin was stuck..so i pressed da lever to get da money out and guess wat? a WHOLE lots of coins came out!!! lol Jas and i quickly get dem all and played other games!! lol

itz been a great week so far.. so yeahh... listen to da song Goodbye My Lover.. itz nice!

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.(x2)

.:James Blunt:.

"heal me, i'm heartsick..."

Life juz suck. my mum came home and started yelling and scolding me! urghh!!! heck ar!!

tat PRIS... every time complain i nvr update... hah! i update liao hor... hmph! anieways...todae had amaths test... oni fucntions i can do da rest i cannot ... wahahahah.. i cleverer den Pris... she dunno anythin... hehe.. no lar... den saturday which is tomolo, we goin library to study lor..

kk i hafta go ler..tomolo i update more okies? bye!!

stupid pris..make me update every day.... =)

"i fall without my wings; i feel small"

Urgh!!! i juz hate my sis! what's her problem?! she's irritating me!! argh!!!! okies, i tink tis shud be one of da posts dat shud contain vulgarities. here goes...

watz her farkin problem? cudnt she see dat i was doin my ONLINE hw? and she was like, "ya do ur online work at da same time chat. how to finish?!" HEL-LO!! i was more den half-way done and i juz started chattin! fark sial... and itz all bcos of a friggin maggie. [??!!]

my dad wanted maggie and itz alwaes me who cooks dem so i told my mum," pls la ma...i need to do my work..." i noe itz so unfilial of me but well, my sis werent doin anything and dya noe dat my mum likes ot take advantage of me??!!

once she had da cheek to tell me dat she's lazy so she told me to close da friggin door! i was like in da room and she was like in da livin room... >_<"' itz like so wateva rite??

argh!! life suck man. I love myself but life juz suck ya noe. i've got an outing to organise and a graduation day to handle. i'm growing white hair!!!! arghh!!!! i hate my life!!

''ever since da dae u went away..."

listen to da words of this song. it is really meaningful u noe. sine my darl. told me dat da song not nice [We Belong Together], i changed it to Goin' Crazy! =)

so yeahh... did u noe dat, ppl sae dat wen it is raining altho it's sunny, it means itz da rain of heartbroken couples. hehe. and itz rainin dat way rite now. lol. so yeahhh..

anieways, skipped Maths remedial todae... wen Juliao taught me DEN i understand... haizz.. Mr Lee talk until we all cannot understand lorr.. sian. den.. i went home wif da peeps la.. tis fridae am goin out to Seoul garden to celebrate Mus' bdae.. hehe.. happie bdae gal... been frens since primary school ya noe..

anieways, was talkin to Jason, he is SO into Hui Ting and dat gal doesnt even noe it. haizz.. stupid gal.. silly is a better word. i mean, itz not easy to find a guy who is SO into u ya noe.... hehe.. anieways, i'm gonna go maple a while.. am soooo stressed!

"in words of a broken heart..."

"itz over and done but da heartache lives on inside..." itz true isnt it? although itz all over and dere's nth left but u cn still feel da heartache altho u've nvr touched or simply met. =)

anyways, i long fo the old days... those times when i was with Brett, Brian and David. and maybe Diana. they all contributed deeply to me past.. i miss those times when i deliberately changed my nick to sth saucier to attract Brett... wen i change my nick to mushy stuff to declare my feelings to Brian... or change to sth vogue to spite Diana..? lol .. da past was filled wif sheer teenage innocence. =)

and i wan those daes bak. )=

"hell hath no fury..."

I shall not be furious any longer at Mr Lee... i mean... it is no use being angry at him for not being able to teach properly. I guesss it is all up to me... but then.. i'm worried. i mean, i dun understand most of da things he taught us... so how am i to revise work on my own?

anyways, exams are approaching fast. and i'm seriously worried. time and again i try to study wif fwens but i still dun understand. haizz... die liao lorhx.. wat to do... tink for da next few daes me go library study bah? hehe.. every saturday and sunday maybe? yepp...

''we're all to blame...''

haizz... its like 8 months has passed and my a. maths shucks as hell. and come to tink of it..itz not really DAT helpful if u study everything now... 8 months back..if i had just taken da initiative to do a lil bit of practice here and dere.. atleast i wont be so far behind...

anieways.... i'm early tis morning cos i'm goin out later to da library... haizz... go and study maths wif Pris and Jas... hehe... so yeahh... meetin at 11 and now its 10.05 so i beta go now! see y'all!

''dun look no further, sister, i'm bak!''

Right at 7.40pm, my step-bro came to my house. lol. he is like twice my age it ink..more den dat but he's so trendy lol. he is short and look svry young. so he's like punk-lookin guy. lol. cute la hor. he's good-looking. seriously.

cant take his pic tho. my webcam not powerful enuff to take his pic. haizz.. phone oso cannot. haizz... sadded la. u guys most be wondering where this bro of mine comes from? suddenly pop up from nowhere. lol. itz a long story but i wont sae. hehe. kill me oso i wont sae. so yep.

anieways... been chattin juz now and got bored of it. Sg guys are juz so desperate. lol. hmmm..watever. i dunno y but it seems to tt da guys in my class and dat i noe are da oni decent guys. haizz.. poor thing... anieways, me going off now.. juz came to blog to tell u abt da arrival of my bro
lol. see ya guys den!

''show me how you feel...''

Hmmm... i juz realised sth todae. i'm prejudiced against some people i noe. one such person is Li Ying. Another is Wina. Well, with Li Ying... i dunno why and i'm really puzzled. Liying, if you're reading this, forgive me. i'm retreating for some time to sort my feelings.

Maybe it is because she just tries to hard to participate in the things we do. I heard from Sharifah that da reason she stones is 'cos she's often alone at home so she'll have nothing to do, so she stones. Maybe it's bcos she's alwaes like tat tat she is not naturally mingling wif us. but i noe she is trying her best. so i am tryin too, to be a real fren to her. i dun wan to be claimed a hypocrite. give me time aiite?

and Wina, is cos well, 2 years back things happened. all i can say is that she lied a lot. i'm not sure abt Sharifah or da rest but for me, i REALLY don't like people who lie. i dunno why, i juz hate it. seriously. I'm not the type who forgives and forget. I forgive, yes. But. i dun forget. tts me. i'm like my mum. [ok..tt is hereditary..] but yeahh, atleast wif her, i'm still jokin around but for me to be really close to her da wae we were in da past, nuh uh. i need time to rebuild our foundation of trust.

anieways... todae got no remedials!! haharx! supposed to haf Bio but den da whole class complained abt not knowing and dat dey didnt bring da book. itz true la actually. but come to think of it, did Pauline Lim EVER uses da textbook?? haizz..

anieways..nth muc happened. afta sch went to da canteen wif Nas, Ayin n Shari. did nonsensical things and all den we went to da library but soon afta we walked home. wahahaha.. tis Sat my family is like going out to Johor while i'll be at da library da whole day, tryna learn some stuff. Exams in less dan 1 month? lol. yep.

Grind On Me...

Oh garsh... every teacher is like going, "Your exams are just three weeks away!". haizz... as if i need reminding about that.

its stressful enough now that i am STILL clueless about A. Maths although there was lik remedial... and dat i am really fearing for myself. Can life get any worser?

anyways..today didnt do anything much. quite a number of free periods here and there so yeahh... but i made full use of those free periods you noe. i did my SS hw. it was really nice u noe i mean.. i'm like so different. i usually wont do my hw till like last minute but now i'm like doing dem on time. its kinda cool actually. if only i can put da same amount or even more energy and enthusiasm in Mathematics, both E. and A. .

so yeahh..had Lit remedial.. it was fun actually wif QianYi and her crap.. and Julia wif her nonsensical yet funny questions and observations. oh yeahh, i learnt sth today too. a tongue twister! i shall sign off now but b4 u go, try reading this fast!

The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

It is claimed that this is the hardest tongue twister. So... start trying people! Enjoy!

w.e.i.r.d m.e w.a.h.a.h.a.h.a :) 

Yay!!!

Yippee!!! i am SO loving tis template!! hehe. i dunno y but all my templates so far has been black background-ed. wahahahha.. its sooo beautiful!

anieways..i wanna take tis opportunity to thank all my fwens. All those ppeeps, regardless of close or not, who in some ways or another cheered me up during school hours. Even small little thing counts u noe. (= Thank You.

secondly, i wanna say that i hate 'him' now. Thanks to 'him' i now have no mood to go to school and no motivation at all. He WAS my motivation until.... then. so yeahh. tts all folks! bye! and Enjoy!!

Break Down

Well...today 307 did sth really really bad. We made Mrs Sng, our English teacher, cry. Mrs Sng was worried about her baby who is in da hospital bcos he is havin fever and she said she had a fren whose child died within a week of havin fever cos da docs didnt noe wat was da caouse of it. it was pretty sad. den she walked out and cried, wenta da toilet. Sharifah went afta her.

haizz.. den had ermm... remedial.. A and E maths.. haizz.... it was pretty ok for E maths.. but A maths shucked man. As always! haizz.. anieways... no hw so i mapled and now bloggin and soon gonna change da whole outlook of tis blog again. hehe. cant help it if i like to beautify my blog. see ya!

School Starts!

haizz...so school's started and yeahh... had an English oral! lol. started at 3.20pm i tink... it was ok i guess.. did quite ok.... dun expect much tho. den b4 dat me, jas, agnes,qiu ling and daryl sat together and talk nonsense la. den dat silly daryl was like going "puki puki puki" once in a while! lol. den he was like going to Sharifah and bowed to her while greeting, "pukimakkau". lol!

it was totally hilarious man! den afta dat me and shrifah plus Tempeh, she too had her Eng oral, went to eat some spicy mee goreng.. hehe... den we talked lotsa stuff den went home.

den i did all of my hw. especially social studies. did my full job ya noe. am feelin so proud of meself! now me gonna maple liao! ciaoz!!

Relationships

Gdness... Hilary is like wif tis Good Charlotte guy... and he's like ok ..and cute and all.. but wow... tt gal has grown man... i mean its like... wow. lol. i'm babbling. i realise... tt its not easy to keep a relationship.

tink abt it. wen u're single, u cn do WATEVER u wan, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE. u need not report to him abt who u r wif and where u r and why. its juz YOU. but den.. u haf no one to lend an unwilling ear to all ur woes [lol]. or someone to cheer u up and someone to juz be dere for u. i noe frens can do all dat but which one of ur frens wud actually pay tat SPECIAL attention to u? ahhh.... (=

so yeahh.. but wen u r in a relationship, u cant be too possesive. u cant be too inquisitive... u HAFTa to be faithful...muz haf trust. but well.. easier said den done. haizz.. so which dya tink? relationship no relationship? >_<'''

Life II

Todae i went to KK hospital for BF's check-up. i saw and learnt a lot of things. Like how to REALLY carry ur baby and stuff. twas stupid u noe.. seein how some mothers carried their child. One was slouching her poor baby all da wae. she seemed as though she was rehearsing da stuff she learnt at some parenting course. lol. lamer. den another was cradling her child da wrong way. da baby's head was hanging for god's sake!!

haizz.. cant comment much tho. cos i aint a mother but i've taken care of babes b4. so yeahh.. i've got my fair share of baby-handling. lol. den went Geylang. kakaka. of all places. my mum wanted to buy some stuff dere. so yeah.. juz followed her... my BF was asleep on off... so yeahh.. btw..my sis came along...

den afta dat reached home den been mapling for abt an hour and a half? its getting pretty boring now. but met Ben at da last minute so decided to play for a while more. lol. den logged online on web-based msn.. garsh..its DARN boring dere now! i mean.. my oh my... in da past it was WAY busy. now its...too peaceful. Michael cant be online nowadays. Brett, David and Brian are like.. haizz... haizz... its so sad how frenships result to a standstill afta some time. itz been a year now. wow. time flies by so fast.

aniewaes... am pretty bored now..so mayb gna change my template or... post more entries like lyrics of my fav songs. lol. i need to post more i guess.. oh yeahh... i have been tinkin of HIM recently.. hmmm...tts bad.. notti notti. =)

Life

Haizz... so sian. Today is like Thursday already. School's gonna start real soon now. anieways.. went out wif Kak Titin, Harun and Juffrey. Hehe. We went Bugis.. walked around and had our lunch at the chinses stalls there by the roadside.

it was stupid u noe. dere was tis uncle who has PMS i tink. he was all grumpy and stuff. Jo and Kak Titin was scolded for no apparent reason. but we had a laff. lol. den we walked all da way to Esplanade. Harun has been wanting to go bak dere ever since da dae we went to see a concert dere. he'd wanted to take pics dere. lol.lamer.

den on da wae walkin, we had fun. talkin wif a slang.
it was pretty stupid. Jo was da one who started it along wif Harun... den it ended wif all of us tryna SLANG. it was funny la.

den afta dat went central... walked around.. bought Rotiboy and sugarcane drinks. den walk walk walk den went to da AMK interchange to take our bus. hehe. den yeahh.. stayed wif me till my bus came den all three of dem went home.. hehe. sweet aiite? so tts mainly wat happened.

Ya lookin' at my bf dere! (= 

Fragile Heart

A fragile heart was broken before
I don't think it could endure another pain
But there's a voice from deep inside of you
That's calling out to make you realise
That this new bond gives inspiration
To all I feel the love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall around you
That's aiding both our hearts to grow in pain

So forget your past and we can dream tomorrow
Save our hearts for care and lovin' too
It's hard, I know, but oh one thing's for sure
Don't go and break this fragile heart.

A hurting mind in need of emotion
I don't think I could endure another pain
But baby in you, I've found affection
Affection I have never felt before

So don't let your past
Destroy what comes tomorrow
Don't go and break this fragile heart

With all this fire that burns between us
There's so much to lose, yet so much more to gain
And if I could choose the world around me
The world I choose would all revolve around you
So help me complete the game inside me
And help to mend, to mend this fragile heart.

Haizzz...

I survived through 3 gruelling hours of Maths yesterday. Lol. Mr Lee spent like 20-30 minutes on E maths and the rest of da time was 20 minutes break and den A maths... stupid rite? haizz...

i've been doin a lot of thinkin these past few daes... lol NOT surprising aiite. well...i tink i'm da only person who goes through phases of life faster den many others. why? well. i mean.... my kind of life is such that my thinkin is not of a normal teenager anymore.

think about it. i've seen how teenagers just walk pass babies with a little coo-ing den tts it. but for me... i TAKE CARE of a baby. i see things from a different perspective. i dunnoe hw to explain it.

since small, i noe i'm going through phases of life faster den anyone else my age. i mean... for a teenager of 15 yr old now, i am tinkin of baby diapers, baby's milk. i'm tinkin of things so far ahead of me. it astounds me yet scares me too.

i rmb writing in my diary sayin da vry same thing. how in a relationship, normal teenage couple wud juz take life as it comes. wen dey are together, dey r together. they hug and hold hands. mayb kiss a lil. but for me, i'd think deep like wat wud happen wen we're married. it scares da shit outta me too man.

but wateva happens, i try to keep in mind dat i am STILL a kid. i am a teenager. i cant stop myself from going through all da phases of life whether its too early or not. but i hope i noe where to draw da line. i really hope.

You're Beautiful

My life is brilliant

My life is brilliant
My love is pure
I saw an angel
Of that I'm sure
She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan

You're beautiful, You're beautiful, It's true,
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
I will never be with you

Yes, she caught my eye,
As I walked on by,
She could see from my face that I was,
fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end

You're beautiful, You're beautiful, It's true,
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
I will never be with you
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, It's true,
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
I will never be with you

(La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, Laaah)

You're beautiful, You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you

But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you...

My bf.

Awww...my bf is so cute. Hehe. Every day wen i come home, i always look out for him. den i go bathe den play wif him. hehe. he's turning 3 months-old tomorrow. he's able to like smile and laff at u. he's also able to like 'talk' to you. wen u talk to him, he will make all sorts of noise. lol. so cute rite?? hehe.

anieways. juz now had a meeting. exco councillors. hehe. 18 of us u noe. lol. huge rite da number? aniyways i'm da fucntion organiser in which i organise functions. i'm in charge of it all. and Geraldine is my partner. hehe. partner in crime. lol. den now my first task is a gathering for the councillors to bond. lol. and we're planning to do it at sentosa and organise games and stuff. hehe.

den juz now my class went debate against 309. it was stupid i tell u. i mena not dat i'm being bias. but well, true dat my class didnt prepare well being Sharifah preparing da speech for all and Parmes summarising everything... but yeahh, all in all, it is certified that Raja is bias. haizz.. teachers are always bias with students who are academically talented. haizz...

aniewasys, these few daes, i've been tinkin of 'him'. haizz...but atleast not so much larr.. been pretty busy wif da councillor stuff and all. hehe. den, i feell ike i'm drifting apart from my fwens. i dun wan it to happen again. i really dont.

anieways, my bf is calling out to me now. lol. he's like making noises. trying to attract my attention. lol. so cute rite??? hehe. i try to post more pic of him.. wahahha. see ya!

End of August

well. its da end of august now. so yeahh. lotsa things happened. finally i've got a post in the council board. Function organiser. watever fuck is tat? anieways, suppose to haf a bloody meetin on tuesdae but SOME farkers were juz too busy...all those 309 peeps. WATEVA.

todae had da cher's dae celebration. lame. lame ass. was doing duty throughout actually. enjoyed several performances. so yeah. and wat else? oh yeah. aunt's bdae. so stingy. y cant she juz order food to her hse? wanna bring us to some hawker centre to celebrater her farkin bdae. wateva. on my ndae, i didnt even haf a decent cake. except for da ones tat was baked by Shari. =) i love da Expressoz.... and i tink we shud rename ourselves. bcos SOME ppl are juz not worth to be in our grp.

and tis goddamn com is lagging like fuck! cant i juz haf sth decent goin on in my life now? io hate everyone at tis moment. i love oni my bf. and he's out wif dat woman who cant carry a baby properly!!! i'm so fucking angry!!! i'll enter in another entry later. see ya. farkers.

me bf standin... wahahhaha... =) 

"see Gf! i'm holdin my bottle!!"  

now TATS my Bf... hehe.. got u somewhere around dere didnt i? lol  

wahahha...tis is wen i feelin shhhweeet yet crazy.. da combination as u cn see... is..*ahem* 

Sianzz

Okies.... i still cant forget HIM.... haizz... i'm really tryin but each time i see his face in school..i cannot make it lorhx...haizz...wat to do??

anieways todae i play da Maplestory... haharx... level 10 liao..den some Kenneth guy help me to go around da new place..wahh piangg den he brought me go some difficult place..dwn dere da ppl power is like 100+++ and mine was like 20+++ wahahahahah...damn paisehh lorhh...

haizz..anieways..todae da PIGS...went to eat da spicy mee goreng again..wahahaha..i didnt tho..me sore throat still around..den came home mama nagged about me not takin medicine..haizz... ok liao mahh.. haharx..

wat else arhx?? i feel like goin massage like tat lorhx.... my whole body aching like siao... haizz... cannot make it larhx... haizz... den todae..my com gimme prob.... i log on and off my two accounts but keep jamming... den i restart den ok... wahh piangg.. even my com angry at me... cannot make it larhz...

oh ya...i realised i been tinkin of Brett... y arhh?? i tink i miss his fwenship and crapness... hehehe... awwww.. i really miss dat big guy... shit him... made fwens den afta dat gt problems dun wan share..go other place... so tut... haizz...hafta rely on Ed to get info abt him...

anieways... i change my template again..hehe... i will be posting some pics...hehe... see ya later lar... nite!

My Love Is Brilliant

My Love is Pure

Sick!!!

Fever
Sore Throat
Neck Pain

How bad can it go?? i'm terribly sick.... *sobs* and bcos of dat..i cant carry bf... so sian wan... haizz.... i die die dun wan go doc in truth but cos i really cannot tahan, i go c doc lorhx... haizz... cannot make it derhx...

todae nth muc happened... stange enuff, a lot of teachers nvr come... like Luah, Sng, Ang... vry shiok rite??? hehe... but yeahh..i was too tired and too lethargic to do anythin..tests also we all copy..haharx..i pity ad relief teacher..feel guilty... he didnt really noe it was a test.. den we take advenatage lorhx... haizz..

anieways...i dun haf anythin to sae ..yet. hehe... sometime tomoro i update again... nitey nite!

Phew! Its been long...

Whoah...its been long yeahh since i used this com... and da reason plainly bein my family and i slept over at my sis' hse ever since my BF was admited into da hospital...so yeahh...

so for da past weeks, i've been goin to school quite late cos da buses came late..and i got out of da hse late and so on so forth... it was actuallly pretty boring dere cos no com..lol but yeahh..i survived!!!

den was pretty busy with the debate and stuff so didnt tink much abt com or bein bored. Right now, my com is really slow..watever i typed doesnt come out until a few seconds later...LAGGING!!! anieways...rite no am havin a kind of sore throat.... my throat is hurtin me wenever i swallow... so later i'm goin dwn to buy some strepsils...hehe...

basically, nth muc happened i guess.... juz da same every day life kinda thing... lol i noe this doesnt make up for da loss of updates i've not been doin but yeah.h..rite now i'm havin a headache too..so yeahh...everythin hurts... and it feels weird to be comin bak home after so long...lol

i'll blog again tomorrow... hehe yess..i'm now at home and intendin to stay here until mayb da weekends...lol so yeahh... tomorrow i'll be back!!! =)

Now it's time to face the truth

I will never be with you.

What Kind Of Dreamer Are You?

You are a pure dreamer! You are innocent, light,
and sweet like cotton candy!

What Kind Of Dreamer Are You? (Anime Picz)
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michicko

michicko

Which Japanese name suits you right? (5 outcomes and cute anime pictures)GIRLS ONLY
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Romantic

Your kiss will be really Romantic. He will sweep
you off of your feet. This is a true and honest
kiss that means a lot for both of you. it's
enough to send you into la la land but your
fine being there as long as he's with you.

How will your dream First Kiss be? *UPDATED* (Cute anime pics (me:finally)
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How Sweet

Youre the

Romantic
Girlfriend

A gentle peck
on the cheek. The sweet note in his locker
scribbled just to tell him that youre so lucky
to have him. The unexpected message on his
phone that just says, Hey, hun. Just wanted to
say Im thinking of you. Love you. The gentle,
tender embrace that told him you were sorry his
day sucked and that you hoped he felt better.
You look into his eyes and see everything youve
ever wanted. You savor every moment together,
every single touch, each solitary syllable that
falls from his lips. Every love song on the
radio was meant for him. Hes every dashing
hero in every movie. You absolutely love being
in love. Yes, this is the life of the hopeless
romantic, and you, my dear girl, are exaclt
that.
Every femalegirl or woman of any ageis a romantic
at heart. We crave romance. And some of
uslike youLIVE for romance. You cherish your
loved one with everything you are and dream of
ways to show your love to him. Daydreams of his
face cloud your every thought . . . in fact,
hes all you ever think about.
You tend to be a dreamer, and, so when you fell in
love, naturally, your quixotic heart wandered
into tales of your boy as your night in shining
armor riding up on a white horse to sweep you
off your feet to a romantic, candlelit dinner,
walking hand-in-hand down the beach, and
waltzes under the stars. But theres a problem:
sometimes a guy, no matter how perfect and
wonderful he is or how much he loves you, cant
always reserve that special table or make the
trip to the shoreline. This can sometimes
lead to disappointment. Understand that
sometimes his cash flow or schedule cant allow
for some of the creative outings youd like, and
there are those guys who are just clueless on
romance. Be forgiving and give him time. Hell
learn. In the meantime, your imagination and
romantic heart are not things to be ashamed
ofthey are beautiful, wonderful things, but,
like all good things, too much isnt always
healthy. Just be sure to keep some of your
expectations and daydreams in check.
You need a boy who is very creative, thoughtful,
and tender, a true artist or poet with deep
feelings and a heart as romantic as your own.
He knows how to play prince charming and sweep
you off your feet with ballads and sweet
declarations of his love. The two of you will
spend hours content just to stare into the
stars of the each others eyes. *sigh* Dreamy .
. . .


*~What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?~* (10 Detailed Results with Beautiful Anime Couple Pics!)
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Shy Larhx

You like the sweet, shy type.

What kind of guy are you most attracted to?
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Sweetheart

You're a complete sweetheart! You always seem to be
in a good mood. You try to be nice to and help
everyone, even when they don't deserve it.
That's great, but don't become a doormat! Your
idol would be someone like Reese Witherspoon.

What Kind of girl are you? (pretty results!)
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Quizzilla

You're a romantic girl. You're kind, caring,
loveing, and peaceful. You spend a lot of your
time dreaming and you're not afraid to express
deep emotion, whether it be in a poem, diary,
or words. You hope for love and affection from
your prince charming. I have a feeling he will
come around soon.

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

tiredz..

okie dokie.... da bay is like still in da hospital... he was supposed to come back
home today but suddenly he had fever again... URGH!!

so yeahh... den went off to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again with Sharifah... haharx..it was a stupid show actually. so cant help it but laff too larhx...

den now i'm all alone at home...watchin American Idol...its another lame show. so yeahh.. nth much happened todae in school... no PE... am growin fatter by da day...lol so yeahh... mayb later i'll post da pics of National Day... tt is if my fwen send it in time...

Hospital Visit...

oh well...was feeling really tired.. but still went to da hospital to visit my dear bf...

my heart broke wen i saw him... his right arm was plastered to a kind of stick...with needle poked on da back of his hand.... it was really heart-breakin for me to see...

stayed for a while dere... did my hw and stuff... den at around 6.15pm , i went hme myself wif a broken slipper... goodness! den i tink several people saw it larhx.. kakakakakakaka... den went home, did nothing else but chat larhx... aharx.. it was a pretty laid-back day... had planned to go out wif Parmes dey all but den dey all dun wan .... wahahahha...crazy larhx!

ciaoz!

What a National Day

Well.... first and foremost, Happy Birthday Singapore!! *blow trumpet [??]*
anyways... today is SIngapore's 40th Birthday... =) big number dere but still young at heart!

Today was supposed to go for the celebration at Tampiness with da whole family but my bf fell ill. He had fever...no wonder he was mysteriously quiet today. so yeahh..but my mom told me to go still...be a representative i guess... so yeahh..i went..

dere was a sea of red wif lots of umbrellas opened trying to prevent death, in a form of da sun, to reach them or touch their untouchable selves. =D *sarcastic here..* no one was "ra-ra", not many... not even half of da crowd dere wanted to participate in all da things we were supposed to do. In short, it was... LAME.

all da aunties were carrying umbrellas, shadin themselves from da afternoon sun. For goodness' sake! da sun wont kill!!! den dey came chatterin all da way... didnt wan to participate in da "dance No. 40" neither did dey want to do da SIngapore Wave.... lame crowd.

I got so fed up u noe!! all those aunties. if dey want to just watch da show and not participate, den get thier ass off da chairs, walk home and sit dwn comfortably on ur couch and watch on tv!!! can u believe dat even wen da National Anthem came on, we had to URGE people to stand???!!! Talk about the spirit of Singaporeans. *pouii*

BUT. me and my cousins, we cudnt care less. We came to celebrate and we sure did. we were da only one screamin da loudest wen da camera isnt on. [those people are fakers. Be "enthu" oni wen cam is on..]. we clapped, cheered and screamed. we had loads of fun!

wen da "Reach Out For The Skies" song came on, we danced like siao! lol! even my aunt joined in!! lol...it was totally hilarious... then i stood on da chair and waved my hand and sang out loud..lol bet da peeps right behind me cant see a thing 'cept my booty-booty! lol. den i SCREAMED da loudest i guess wen da fireworks came in... everyone looked at me like i was loose from da asylum... lol
cant help it can i? i'm happy and celebratin for my nation's bdae. now TATS called da spirit of Singaporeans. lol.

p.s: Bf had to stay at da hospital.... =( sadded larhx.

My Bf!!

todae went school den came home early cos in sch no one to talk to and hang out wif considerin da fact dat Nas and Sharifah went to Korean den cudnt find Ayin and Shari.... so yeahh...

went out wif my mum and bf...hehe..i carried him all da way wif da carrier thingy.... so yeahh.. den saw Yan Hui from far..dunnoe wether he got see me...hmm...den bought two new shirts [again?!] lol! cant complain now dat my mom dun pay attantion to me... *sheepish*

den reached home at about 3pm? cant rmb...den bf was like cryin...mom fed him and stuff while i listened to some of the stuff i dwlded... den mum wanted to go bathe den pray den cook...passed bf to me... i was vry bad..i wanted to focus on playin da com... so i put him in da crib...

afta a while, he kept callin out to anyone and everyone.... lol... i was like... "so cute! but who's gonna carry you??" lol bad rite... den at last i carried him...den i was like scoldin him larhx.... den i put him dwn again.... den he look at me wif dat pitiful face.... my heart broke but i ignored him..... =(

den he cried.... so i cudnt take it anymore so i carried him... den put on some low songs den patted him throughout erm... almost 3 songs.... hehe...den he fell asleep... =) i felt so bad for treatin him da way i did before... he juz looked too cute and pitiful to be scolded..... *sniffles* hehe... so cute larhx my bf =D

den now he's awake again cos my sis bringin him out..haiya.... let da boy sleep for goodness sake!!! hehe... anieways..my cramp now ok lerh.. and my bf ish cryin..... ='( so sadd.... nvrm...my mum takin care of him...so yeahh... i'll write in another entry mayb some time later? see ya!

Kanga!!

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Candy!!

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Cramp )=

Ever since this morning i woke up.... i've been havin tis one kind of abdominal cramp... and it leaves me breathless for a few seconds.... i've had it before actually.... about a few months ago? it was in da middle of da nite... wasnt da kind of pain wen u feel like shittin.... it juz sort of cramp up inside and squeeze out watever oxygen u haf..leavin u breathless...

rite now i'm still havin those attacks... was havin one juz now...*sigh* hope i'll be ok for tomoro... =( tomolo is da dae for me to emcee and stuff... =) so yeahh and oso...well..i noe tis is foolish but to oso see him.... hehe

anyways...i found out dat my dad regretted not lettin me go to Korea...but well... i dun mind actually... its ok for me..seriously.. i noe my family wont be able to pay for my expenses so yeahh... its ok..i can like save up...? and go for another trip somewhere??? lol yep..

i beta go now.... tink da cramp is comin up again soon..and gonna steal my breath! see ya guys! oh yeahh.. i miss Meche and Apple!!

Family Gathering

oh well.... went to sleep over at my sis' new house yesterday... =D da whole family! includin my close aunt... hehe... her hse is actually cool.... vibrant colors on da walls... =)

den yeahh...i was pretty bored cos dere wasnt any com and sine it's yet to be furnished, dere wasnt anythin muc to do...so i sat and lay down, readin my Nora Roberts's bdae gift book...hehehehe

den dey switched on VCD...some comedy cum horror malay movie...it was funny yeahh but WAY scary too..ended up erm...actually da pillow was just obscuring my view.... lol

den yeahh...slept quite early i guess...was so bored..lol but my bf was crying in da wee mornin too...kept da whole house awake except for me.... =D lol betta go now... =)

S.Korea

oh well.... our two dear gals, Meche and Apple...flew to Korea tonite.... at around 10.30 dey headed for da departing hall... awwww... lol me, Parmes and Vani went to send them off... lol here's how it went...

got home late from Guides.... [tiring!! and u noe who took us.. YM!]... den called Vani to tell her i wasnt goin...cos was too tired but in da end i gave in and went... but wen i took da taxi home and alighted, i immediately felt like backin out again. i seemed like as tho i'd arrived in hell... fire... lots of dem... cos ppl burn incense papers... garsh..scared da *tut* out of me... tsk tsk tsk...

anyways..slept through the journey in da bus wif Parmes and Vani talkin at da back... lol den wen we reached, went straight to da ladies den went to meet dem...

had a lil 'gal party' without Nas tho cos her parents were there... so yeahh.. fed Meche like as tho she'd be gone for 6 months instead of days... lol den yeahh.. den MC was angry wif me for no apparent reason... boys! *roll eyes*

so yeahh...den got bak from home at around...11 plus pm?? hehehe... den yeahh... den tis entry is like made on da seventh of August.. lol =D

Dropping...

Yesh..my studies are dropping... badly. [yikes!] so yeahh... my English..i tink its deteriorating.. so i've gotta read more books.. BUT, i juz dun haf da time... [wait a minute, there's no such thing as BUT. If u wanna do it, u juz gotta do it.] so yeahh... den..my maths is like... total disappointment.. so i got Meng Chin to teach me.. or rather..tutor me. haharx.. gd fwen.. =)

den my bio is hopeless... i'm juz nt cut out to be a scientist. my physics.. a bit hopeful dere... POA... a lil ray of hope i guess... juz dat i juz gotta DO da work and LISTEN!! haharx =) den wat else? Lit? hehe..i noe i cn do it.. but i juz dun wan to.. haizz... itz so sadd to see my time wastedd away juz like tt... sadd...

anieways.. todae was quite a laidback dae.. [i didnt go to sch ystd cos i was SO tiredd...] hmmm... didnt do muc. didnt see HIM muc but i dun mind. den i sort of confronted 'Amber' abt da Jasper thingy... she admitted and i told her wat i was feeling... nw we're like SISTAZ again =D haharx! but yeahh.. i've deleted Jasper's no. i tink dat da guy dat actually cn cause a rift btwn gd fwens r like nt worth it... so yeahh...

oh yeahh..got Guides todae..wahahha..sux but yeahh.. i juz hope dat da PLs cn be more serious.. [especially Ju-ju!!] hehehe... dey R ok outside of guides but wen it comes to PLs duty of footdrills and stuff.. i hate to admit but i prefer Yong Meng [no matter how harsh he may be..]... haizz.. no use broodin abt it.. anieways.. i wanna go n read my Nora Robert's book... hehe i still havent read dem since i receieved dem on 12 July... wahahahha.... too neat and tidy to read.. da wrappin and all... [talk abt craaaziness!] adios amigos ppl!